Childhood

Chapter 1

Let me introduce myself, my name's Lily. My childhood hasn't been easy but then i think to myself, so many other people have a harder life than me so please don't feel like I'm trying to gain sympathy because I'm not. It's my childhood that has changed me to be who I am today, which is why I think I should start from the very beginning....

My mother fell in love with my biological dad and when she turned 18, they got married and she became pregnant with me. Her dream was to be a mother and have her own baby. The only problem was that he didn't want me to be born. Nether the less, I was eventually born but without a dad.

He left us before I was born and never came back... said he was on a business trip in Holland. My mom knew she should have known better and so she told him never to come back to us again. The only part of him that stayed with us is his surname.

For mine and my families sake, I am glad he did leave and hasn't returned. Whether he will or not, whether he cares or not, whether he is dead or not; I don't know. With him in my life I wouldn't be who I am and I might not have had a mom to bring me up. The thought of what he put my mom through makes me angry. The only marks that should be left on anyone are kisses. Who beats their own wife? I guess this is the sad world we live in.

How I found out about this was different...I found my nan's diary whilst I was cleaning my dressing room. The little notepad was hidden under the floor board in the wardrobe which I was vacuuming at time. What my nan wrote about was when my mother was going through what she went though, before I was born. The things I read still remain in my memories crystal clear.

Then a few months back I was in the loft and stumbled upon some suitcases.
In the dusty suitcases were remains of my childhood. Some clothes, pictures, my first teeth that the tooth fairy took and so on. It was when I looked into the third suitcase that made me curious.

What I expected to see were more family photos and and mounts of shoes, but no. As I looked into the suitcase I saw a crumpled brown bag.
I opened it up, carefully, and placed my hand onto an envelope. I took it out and not knowing what I'd find inside I looked. I dropped the photos on the ground.

What I saw was something I never thought I would see. I wanted to cry but no tears came out, I was utterly mortified. I picked up the pictures again and forced myself to look at them an comprehend what happened. Then it clicked. He did this to her. My dad did that to my mom and I had just seen the evidence for myself.

I heard my mom coming up our creaky stairs and onto the landing so I quickly shoved everything back where it was supposed to be and called down from the loft that I was coming down for lunch.

She saw something in my eyes and asked if everything was okay. I didn't know how to reply to my mother. I mean how the hell could I tell her that I just saw photographs of her beaten burnt skin, caused by the monster that is my "dad". I simply replied to her that everything was fine and that I had to do my homework which excused me to go to my room. For the rest of the night I took my usual spot on my window sill, half out the window and just stared out at the sky, letting the cool air blow against my skin and ease my mind.