Childhood

Chapter 2

Onto a less traumatic topic, one of the best days of my life was when my brother was born. At the time I cried because I wanted my mother all to myself, however we grew close which is why I don't call him my half brother. When I was 6, my mother had him with a man whom we moved in with. My brother's name is Cody, he's 9 now and his birth was one big but beautiful change in my life.

I can't remember that far back into my childhood but I do remember parts, even if they are hazy. One I remember more so was when I was scared. It was on the night. I was in my brothers dads other sons room ( Christopher's ) and in the middle of the night I wanted my mother so I called out to her and I was crying. Instead of my mother coming in, my brothers dad came in. He covered my mouth with his hand so I would stop making noise so I wouldn't wake Cody but i started to find it difficult to breathe. My mom rushed in when she heard the sudden silence that surrounded the entire house. She somehow got him off me and they argued for the rest of the night.

I'm not entirely sure why my mom and cody's dad broke up but I do know that it once again involved violence. Something I can remember my mom once telling me was that when my brother was over at his house, she noticed him covered in flee bites. His dad had a dog, and he placed my brother on it, which I don't understand. Why would you do that? It's cruel and uncalled for. Maybe when I'm older I'll be told more, who knows yet.

Anyway, since then we moved out and my mom, Cody and I lived in high raise block of flats on the top floor. I'll let you in on a secret of mine. I have a fear of heights so living where I lived scared the s*** out of me!!

As a child I had a really vivid imagination...I used to think the lift would eat me, swimming pools had sharks in them, that burglars wanted to steal away my brother etc .
I even used to have any nightmares about it all, especially about my brother dying, so my mom took me to talk to the police one night to ease my mind. I guess it shows how protective I am of my brother.

I have known my brother for over 9 years now and he is amazing. He even let's me do makeovers on him!!! What I want for him is to live his life differently to how I have lived mine so far. He deserves more and he shouldn't have witnessed half the stuff he has. But I guess I'll tell you about that later...

What I learnt from my past then was that I needed to ready myself so that I was able to protect myself in any situation and protect the people I love. At the age of 6, when my family first moved out, I enrolled in judo classes. I worked my way up the belts and started doing competitions.

My first one was recorded I am ashamed to say and I cried every fight because I got smashed. The part that mattered was how that made me realise that I didn't want to be the one who lost, I wanted to win. By losing, I changed my attitude, worked hard on my technique and guess what? It paid off.

Just comes to show how when you get knocked down you can still stand back up and fight. That's one of the main reasons I do judo, it made me a tough cookie. Everyone has times where they're weak. It's just that sometimes they don't show it, like how I used to be all the time. This is until my life continued changing tremendously and it became too much by the time I was in secondary school.

In year 7, I quit judo because of a girl who bullied me who was in year 11. She used to hurt me and get me into trouble all the time at judo. The cruel part was that it knocked my confidence and I had to face her every week and fight her. She always won and would try to hurt me as much as possible. I was just thankful that it was illegal to perform strangles and armlocks at my age ! It just got too much. I know it sounds like cowardice but I couldn't deal with her anymore.

I am proud to say that a month ago or so I returned to my old club I used to train at, with my current club. Natalia ( the bully) wasn't there and hadn't been going ️apparently for a months to say the least. I was actually disappointed. Either way my club ended up winning every fight and stood as champions.