Childhood

Chapter 6

Moving on about from my past "love" life, I wanted to talk about how behind closed doors, things could be happening that u couldn't even imagine. That boy u saw today across the street could actually be hurting himself, that sweet quiet girl in the front of your class could be having abuse from her family and just puts on a brave face, even your friend may be going though something life threatening that u didn't even know about.
I never realised before that so many of us have secrets about ourselves and we are reluctant to share because we don't want to get into trouble or make things worse or we think people would judge.
So many people actually just don't want the sympathy or attention, they just want to tell someone and get help but they don't feel like they can.
And that's a shame because no one should have to feel scared like that. Ever.
Tonight I found out that my mom was meant to have a baby when I was 4 but she had a miscarriage...he/she was gonna be called Alex. I never realised that for the 16 years of my life until tonight. It just goes to show how much individuals go through and how much we really don't understand them until they tell us for themselves. I never knew my mom went through that and I guess now I do know it proves that u should never judge a book by its cover. Everyone is going through battles whether u realise it or not, so be kind to everyone bc for all u know they could be going through hell.

I sometimes have to fake a smile, put on my mask and act like my world isn't falling apart. Everyone does at some point in their life. A week ago my world was a very different place. Me and mom got into an argument, it got out of control and she kicked me out of the house for the night. I stayed over at my boyfriends parents house for a couple of nights. I tried ringing my mom but she was acting like I was just a stranger in the street if not worse. She verbally hurt me so much and threatened to send me away into foster care. It was at that point I felt like I had no one. I couldn't tell my friends, I had no other family to turn to and even my bf's parents couldn't let me stay any longer than 2 nights. I just wanted to run away and take my problems with me instead of dragging down others with me. Luckily It was all resolved with the help of my moms friend and I returned home on the night but there was a part of me that realised how much I fucked up and also how alone Id be without my family. No one would have guessed any of that happened because I didn't tell them. People will never know truly Unless you tell them.
The message I'm trying to get across here is we are all facing our own problems so don't turn your backs on one another, speak out about it to get help from friends or other people and never forget family because it really is important!