Survivor

The lost

I feel so broken,so alone abandonned
I'm breaking down but i don't see anyone that cares, that notices
I know they have their own shit to deal with but.... for once i acrually want someone to notice to grab me and hug me.
To earn my trust and not break me
To force their way in
For once i admit that i need affection and crave it even
But,i can't really ask for it since i know it would break ne even further if i let someone in and they ended up playing ne or even simply walking away
I lied when i said i was already too broken
Because even the broken can get shattered
It actually hurts that i am spending what is supposed to be the best years of my life in this state;
Depressed,scared, hurt,cautious,self-concious
But i can't find a way out
And i can't run,i can't hide
I can't hurt anyone else
I can't show pain or i'll be weak
I can't trust or i'll be betrayed
I can't love or i'll be broken
And even though i want to live i can't ,because i am barely surviving