Survivor

Girl

You see there's this girl
She laughs and giggles as loud as she can
She's dizzy and confused
She spins and she twirls trying to find her way
Hands reaching out,searching for love
Waiting for care
So insecure, hating herself,her all!
Eyes too big,smile too wide
Jumping too high landing too hard
Dazed and unprepared for the fall
But what can she do ; she's been told for so long that she's not good enough
Too thin or too wide
Too quite ,too loud
Broken too many times
You see that girl is me
The me i'll never let you see
Because you'd be too disgusted by the scars
Repulsed by the fears
You see it takes a lot of patience to accept me
And of course I understand
No one has time to waste on such a waste of space
You see there's this image in my head of the me that i'll never be
A beautiful girl with a great mind
A true smile and a kind heart
Someone to be loved and not ashamed of
You see care is all I ever wanted to have
And since fearing opportunities is not living
The fear of not being accepted is what has me barely breathing
The fear that if he sees the other sides of me
The pained ,the weak ,the angry
He'd run for the hills
I know that he will!
No need to tell me you can take it
He's a beautiful being
A sweet breeze
A hurricane of morals and passionate beliefs
A strong wind of hopes and ambition
And i'm just ,well.....me
The one he'd never notice
The one he'll soon forget
Too cold to the touch
Way too deep into the abyss
Certainly it is his right not to trust t I'd take you whole
Flaws and all
I'll be extatic if you'll be mine
I will forever be loyal forever be thine
Even if you won't give back
You'll have my all
To you i willingly surrender my soul
I trust you with my heart
I beg you don't pull the shattered pieces further apart
Take my heart take my all
Please just catch me when i fall
A matter of time
A battle of wills
Before you break me
And the light that you once admired will be no more
I wish you could see yourself through my eyes
Human perfection is what i see
Every time i look at you i drown in those pools of honey
It gets harder to breath with each of your smiles
That isn't directed at me
I'm wild and jealous
Hopeful and rebellious
Craving your presence
By your side i feel weightless
Yet with every glance towards an other
You make me feel worthless
And still at the end of the day i want you more
To hate one's self is a great sin
But what of loving one who will never love what's within?
You made living more than just a chore
And now the darkness you've created in me i abhor
But you'd never see me as more
And you'd never see what's beyond the flesh
You'd never noticed the cold in my gaze
And you chose to ignore the self-hatred i portrayed
Because that's easier than to accept what's behind the front
You never asked and i never told
You wouldn't have understood
Too many demons too many scars
Too many to count and now you'll be gone
Maybe you'll wonder in a few years time
What happened to her ? The girl who said she was more than fine
It wasn't your fault don't fret my boy
I was too much of a dreamer hoping for joy