QB Sneak

Chapter 19: Undeserved

Until today, I had never considered myself a thousand-yard-stare kind of person. My eyes usually would scan every crevice of every room seconds upon entering. It wasn't getting rocked. It wasn't anything to do with Miley or any drama. I wasn't even that tired. I had completely gotten away with winning a game I had no business winning. If you looked at my stat-sheet, then you'd see that I wasn't playing like a winning quarterback. I couldn't do anything right tonight.

As streetlights and other cars whizzed by the dim night, my hand heavily rested on the wheel. I could barely stomach that careers ended tonight of football players who had put in amounts of work that I had never even sniffed. Some of those players probably had put in more work in one practice than I had my entire career.

And yet, I was responsible for their seasons, their careers, and the happiest days of their lives being gone.

I didn't know what to feel. Euphoric sadness? Tense relief? Maybe just a gray area.

As the other cars finding themselves on a lonely country highway at this hour appeared and disappeared into the night, my breathing became heavy and labored. I couldn't feel good about myself squashing some dude's hopes and dreams with a bad game.

Alex could go out there and end a Make-a-Wish kid's career without thinking twice. He'll go through anyone and anything to win. He didn't have bad games, though. When you came across Alex, you had a few days in advance to accept that your time had come to an end.

I wasn't Alex, though. I was some random, anonymous, uncommitted backup who had just 1 star on about every rating website I could find myself on. I wasn't Alex. It was time to admit that. I'll never sling a ball 80 yards straight into DeeDee's arms as if it were placed there. I'll never get an offer from every college who ever had a football program. I probably won't even get a college offer. It was time to admit that we had no shot with me.

What could I do about that, though? It's not like I can give Alex his role back. If he were here, and capable, I would, but it's my job. I couldn't just give it to Geo.

I can't run from it any longer. The lights are on, the stage is set, and it's time for the understudy to perform the marquee act.

And by God, I am going to perform my heart out.