The Winter Cowboy || Bucky x Reader

Chapter 7

Note before reading: 

I want to thank everyone for their fabulous comments and messages, they literally make my day. Anywho- enjoy this new chapter!

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The next day, you woke up curled up on your bed in the clothes you had worn when you and Bucky had picked up Harper in the middle of the night. Your eyes fell on the bloody handkerchiefs you had used to clean up the cut on Bucky's brow. They were the only remnants of Bucky left behind in your room, that and the faint smell of him on the bedsheets he had sat on. You felt utterly defeated and sad, not wanting to leave your bed and face your family downstairs. So, you pulled on your favourite sweater and curled back up underneath your sheets. You found yourself unable to sleep, but refrained from listening to music or reading any of the way-too-many books you had bought over the years. You couldn't bear the idea of having to look at Bucky's face, so instead opted for staring at the drywall instead, wondering if he had done the same on the other side of the wall, only days ago.

That afternoon you found Harper entering your room, her nose all bruised. She simply chose to wear it as a badge of honour. "Come on you lazy ass, it's 4pm," she said cheerfully as she carried a plate of waffles with her that would normally send your tastebuds into overdrive. She studied you for a moment, her usual piercing energetic smile softening as she saw the state of you and sensed something was up. Silently, she sat down on the floor next to your bed and watched you as she ate one of the waffles. You really didn't feel like talking. Harper knew, so she talked without expecting a reply from you.

"Mom and dad were furious when they heard what happened," she mumbled with her mouth full as she tried to tempt you to eat by wafting a waffle in front of your nose. "They think you should go to the police and have Luke arrested." You finally grabbed the waffle from her hand and started nibbling on it. You were sure that if you did go to the police, it would only bring more attention to Bucky, so you wouldn't. You took an unnaturally long time to finish your waffle, but felt somewhat comforted by the presence of your sister in your room.

"Bucky was asking about you at breakfast," she continued, her voice much more quiet now. Harper wasn't stupid, she only ever chose to act that way. She looked at you intently, waiting for anything that would give her an indication of what happened.

"So?" you replied curtly.

"I think he's sorry."

You huffed at her response. "About what?"

"I don't know," Harper uttered simply, telling you she had no knowledge of what had happened whatsoever. "I just think he is," she concluded with a small encouraging smile. After you had remained sulking for a good ten minutes, she eventually got up and left you with the plate of waffles staring back at you accusingly.

Stubbornly, you didn't leave your room for the rest of the day and waved your worried parents off at the door, saying you weren't feeling well and must have eaten something bad at the fair the day before. You couldn't believe you had been such an idiot, pretending to not see the darkness that had lived inside of Bucky all along. But worst of all, you felt frustrated, knowing he feared you would somehow awaken the monster inside of him by simply getting too close. It was heart-breaking to see he truly believed that the anger inside of him would grow out of the love you felt for him. Great, now you sounded like a goddamn hippie.

Desperate for a breath of fresh air, you climbed on top of your rickety office chair to open the window of your slanted roof. You rarely used it, as it was way up high and difficult to open. But once you did, you breathed in the midnight air, the darkness playing tricks on your eyes until they adjusted. Everything was covered in a thick layer of darkness except for the lights in Bucky's cabin. Your eyes found him sitting in the doorway, his arms resting on his knees and his hands balled together in a tight fist. His face was downcast and seemed to focus on nothing in particular. His dark hair hung down his face, shielding his facial expression from you. You felt a lump form in your throat and your stomach knot together, sad with the realization that his rousing speech hadn't changed any of your feelings towards him. Life would have been so much easier if it had.