Love and Cigarettes

Chapter Ten

Trust. So hard to build, yet so easy to break.

Right now, my trust in Sir Lars was wavering after what happened with Genesis. But it's not his fault at all, I'm  the one to blame for overthinking things.

I was insecure. Extremely. Even before I met Sir Lars, I was already a person with poor self-esteem. Marami akong ayaw sa sarili ko. Marami akong gustong baguhin sa buhay ko.

"What am I doing here?" I whispered to the wind. "This is so wrong. I shouldn't be in this place."

This morning, I sent a message to Sir Lars saying that I might be running late today. I told him that I had some errands to take care of, but in reality, I just wanted to come here.

Yes, here.

I can't believe I decided to visit the salon where Sir Lars usually gets his hair done. Alam kong nandito ang ex-girlfriend niyang si Sheila, pero anong gagawin ko kapag nasa harapan ko na siya? Ano bang gusto kong malaman? Bakit ko ba siya pinuntahan?

"It's now or never." ninenerbyos kong bulong sa sarili ko habang kinakagat ang aking mga kuko. "I'll just ask her to spare me some of her time and treat her to coffee. Mukha naman siyang mabait."

I paced back and forth in front of the salon. While I was still trying to calm myself, I was alerted by the sound of heels approaching me from behind. Napalingon ako sa likuran at natameme ako nang bumungad sa akin si Sheila.

"Oh, little miss secretary!" Her brows raised in recognition. "What brings you here? I came out because I saw a troubled customer in front of the salon."

"Haha, magtatanong lang sana ako kung magkano pa-rebond sa inyo. Inaasar na akong kulot-salot sa opisina." Hindi ko na rin alam kung anong sinasabi ko. Gusto ko na umuwi.

She pouted in wonder. "Wow, you came all the way here just to inquire? Wala bang mas malapit na salon sa inyo?"

I panicked. What do I tell her...

Sheila chuckled heartily. "Calm down, Aria."

She remembered my name. Such a nice person!

"Let me guess. You started dating your boss, and you're here to ask me about my past relationship with Lars. You must be feeling insecure, and seeing how you came out of your way to see me, then you must be insecure towards someone else. If it's not me, then who is it? It's either Hana or Genesis." The hairstylist surmised without batting an eyelash.

My jaw dropped in disbelief. Hindi ko alam kung sino si Hana... But everything else she said was spot-on! How did she know?!

Sheila smiled to me. "Shall we go grab some coffee?"

Of course, I accepted her invitation. Siya naman talaga ang ipinunta ko rito at wala naman akong balak magpa-rebond.

Mabuti na lamang at may coffee shop malapit sa salon ni Sheila kaya mabilis kaming nakahanap ng mauupuan. We made small talks while waiting for our order, but Sheila went straight to the point as soon as our coffee was served.

"So, what do you want to know? Ask away."

Napayuko ako dahil bigla akong nakaramdam ng hiya. Talaga bang mang-aabala ako ng taong may trabaho dahil lang insecure ako?

"Don't worry, Aria. Maaga pa naman at wala pa kaming masyadong customer." Sheila gave me a reassuring smile, as if she read my mind. "If you don't know what to ask, then I'll just tell you our story myself. Would that be okay?"

I nodded, my eyes sparkling in anticipation.

"First of all, Lars Altaria is a good man."

My chest tightened at her words. I know. I know he's a good man. That's why I feel so guilty at the moment because I'm doubting the intentions of such a good man.