Love In The Scorch Newt X Reader

Memories and Demons

As we headed towards the mountains we became stuck in the midst of a sandstorm with little to shield our eyes from the harsh sand. Not to mention that the group was already facing dehydration from the harsh heat, nearly all the water I'd packed was gone and we were doing our best to save the rest. "We need to find shelter!" Thomas shouted to us "You think?" I quizzed back sarcastically as we kept on. I know Thomas didn't mean anything by it, but the obvious statement made me irritated. We wandered around for what felt like hours to find a barely standing structure to hide behind until the storm cleared and our energy returned.

Once the storm had passed we all sat drinking as much water as we could afford to use up and hiding in what little shade the structure put off. It was hard to watch Winston struggle to breathe and even though I didn't know him no one deserved to suffer like that, he lasted longer than most he is a high immune. "How's it looking?" Newt calls out to Thomas and Teresa as they look out to where we were hoping to find the right arm "Just a little further," Thomas says with no confidence in his voice. "That's not very convincing," Newt says looking between Minho and me as I empty my shoes of sand.

Newt came down and sat beside me pulling his journal out, he was always a reader, but when he read his journal he hungered for it. "Is it helping with your memories?" I asked him causing Newt to look at me I could also see Minho's head snap up to see what his response was. Newt blinked at me and sighed "I can't say it has, not yet at least..." Newt tells me trying to cushion his words. I don't have time to respond when a gunshot rang out and I hear Frypan shout "No!" at Winston. "Guys get down here!" Aris shouted to Thomas and Teresa who were still out in the blazing sun.

"What happened?" Teresa asked as she and Thomas made their way down to us "I don't know he just woke up and tried grabbing the gun," Frypan explained panic evident in his voice. Winston reached out almost pleading for the gun to be back into his grasp. "Winston, are you okay?" Thomas asked going down to Winston before Winston gags up blood causing me to turn away. I felt myself drawing back from the sight. The scene before brought back memories I didn't want to relive.

"It's growing," Winston tells us I turn to see and I shake my head fear creeping up my spine at the sight. This is not my friend and I am no comfort to him, so I hide behind a wall and try to force my mind away from the sight and the thoughts encircling my mind. I could hear soft goodbyes being said to the dying boy and I fought the tears wanting to escape my eyes. I knew we were leaving so I began gathering my gear wanting to be far away from the boy before the gun goes off. I followed Newt and we stayed quiet but I could see him look back at me as if he knew what this was doing to me.

But he didn't he wasn't the Newt I use to have no matter how much I wish he was. Winston didn't wait for us to be out of earshot before we heard it go off and I immediately felt hot tears drip from my eyes and felt my sister's name on my lips. (S/n) didn't deserve to die, she should have been immune, but she wasn't. The memory of her slitting her wrist in front of me was burnt so hard into my memory, I know I'll never forget it. We all stayed quiet as we went on until we made camp for the night a warm fire in the middle of us to chase off the cold of the night.

"I thought we were supposed to be immune," Minho stated staring deep into the embers of the fire "Not all of us," I said trying not to let my voice betray my emotions but failing miserably. "What does that mean for us?" Newt asked looking at my tear-filled eyes. "Only some of us are immune, but even if we're bitten it doesn't matter. My sister was a little older than us and she never even had to be bitten. The virus is ruthless and you should all be careful. No one is safe," I said closing my eyes and trying hard to chase away the demons in my head.

"I never thought I'd say it, I miss the glade," Frypan said causing my heart to shatter I had no home left to dream about. I look at Newt and try to hold onto him in my heart, he was all I had left of the home I once had. He seemed to sense my eyes on him and he reached a hand out for me to hold which I gladly took. When he began to use his thumb to rub the back on it I felt tears slip down my cheeks, why does he do this if he can't remember?

Newt stayed up with me long after the others were fast asleep. "Are you okay?" Newt asked me his sixth sense for my feelings must still be in tack "A lot has happened Newt," I told him honestly not wanting to lie and not having the energy for it either. "Tell me," he said leaning closer to me "It's too much... When I saw Winston I saw my sister... She killed herself in front of me to stop herself from becoming a crank," I tell him my eyes staring into his. I shake my head the demons inside reminding me of the scars I bare I turn away from Newt looking into the dying embers of the fire. 

"I miss them," I choke out "I miss you, I miss everyone, I was so alone for so long," I tell him not able to hold back the tears anymore"I still feel alone," I say in barely a whisper trying to avoid eye contact. Newt put his arms around me and held me close to him "You're not alone anymore. I know I was gone for a long time and I know my memories aren't there but I'm me, and I'm not gonna leave you. I promise," he tells me and presses his lips to my hair. I leaned into Newt's embrace wrapping my arms around him and taking in his comforting scent.

"I love you Newt," I tell him hugging him as he chased away the demons in my head.