A Drug that Changed My Life - Cashby

Chapter Four

I was laying on my side the next day, trying not to move my bandaged legs too much because they were hurting really bad, hands clamped over my ears, trying to block out the sounds of the abuse happening downstairs. Please let it stop soon, please, please please... Sophie pulled me out of my thoughts and curled up next to  my stomach. It was nice to have someone else there to suffer with me. “Sophie, I swear you’re the only person that really cares about me sometimes.” She stretched in response and purred when I scratched behind her ears. The little black kitten walked towards the white bandages starting to seep through with red and sniffed them a bit, then looked at me questioningly again. “Don’t ask.” I muttered, covering my head with my pillow. I looked around, searching for my phone, reaching out for it once I spotted it. I scrolled through my minimal contacts looking for Austin’s number. He’d given me a note earlier today that had said “If you ever need to talk, I’m here.” and had his cell number on it. I didn’t know why, but I’d gotten butterflies in my stomach when he handed it to me. No one had ever actually cared enough to do something like that... even though it was just a simple gesture. It was late, but I still sent him a message.

Hey, you up? Tonight was....rough.

It took him a few minutes, but he responded.

What happened?

My thumbs hovered over the phone, debating if I should tell him about what my dad did.

Just hurting from the day, I guess.

I took in a breath, looking for my earbuds to calm myself, so I could maybe get a little sleep tonight, while I waited for Austin’s response.

Anything you want to talk about? Or that I can do?

I smiled to myself, at least Austin was making an effort.

Naw, but uhm... I hesitated before continuing. can I ask you something?

Yeah, sure, of course.

Why do you care?

I held my breath, waiting for Austin’s response.

Because I can tell just by looking at you you’re hurting.

But why does that matter to you? Never seemed to matter before...

I don’t like seeing people in pain. I know what that’s like.

Probably not as well as I know. But I didn’t say as much to him.

How?

I only said it out of curiosity, and I didn’t actually expect Austin to tell me.

Doesn’t matter now...

Yes it does. You’re helping me, the least I can do is help you.

It’s over now, but it isn’t for you. Do you need to talk? :)

That was a good question. Did I? I knew I wanted to tell someone about all this that was happening, but if I did, I’d be beaten senseless until they couldn’t recognize my face.

No thanks, but I guess it’s nice to know someone besides my cat actually cares...

I checked the time to see if it was a reasonable time to sleep.

Hey, I’m going to sleep... good night :)

I wouldn’t actually be getting to sleep for a while now, much less staying asleep, but he probably didn’t want to know.

Alright man, good night & sweet dreams ;)

I smiled at the “sweet dreams” part, even though I knew that wouldn’t be happening, then put my phone back on it’s dock, unplugging my earbuds from it. Sophie jumped up and laid on my pillow  right next my head where she normally slept. I kissed her little nose and said “Night, baby.”

***

“Get your ass out of bed faggot!” My blankets are yanked off of me, and I’m pulled out of bed to the floor. I let out a groan, glancing at the clock then looking up at my father. He was holding a beer bottle, as usual, and had a really angry look on his face. He kicks me in the stomach, and I let out a little whimper, curling up around my stomach.

“... what did I do?” I squeak, looking back up.

“You know exactly what you did!” No. I didn’t. But apparently I always deserved this treatment. “Stand up,” He doesn’t give me time to stand, jerking me up by my arm and forcing my face to his, his hand now around my neck. “You disgust me,” he sneered. He downed the rest of his drink, and turned his attention back to me. “You’re a disgrace to this family,” I may be a disgrace, but I’m not the biggest disgrace. He pushed me backwards, releasing his grip on my neck, and I stumbled onto my bed. He approached me, looking down at me. “You should have never been born,” Oh, I wish I hadn’t. He throws a sloppy punch down at me, hitting my legs, where I had fresh cuts. I cringed, my hand going down to where he hit. I try not to make my face show any pain, but fail. “Oh no, did I hurt the little fag?” He laughs in my face. He leered down at me, then began ranting to me, about everything wrong in his life (which was mostly me and my mother) while waving the beer bottle around. “Faggot!” I was drawn back to reality by my father yelling at me. “This’ll show you for ignoring me,” he glared at me. Oh god, what was he going to do this time? He slammed his beer bottle against my bedpost, the bottle shattering around it. He held the jagged edge in front of my face. “See this fag? This is what I do to you when you don’t listen.” He takes the bottle, pressing it against my arm, digging thesharp edge into my arm. He dragged it down, making a cut about six inches long. It bled lurid red, something you’d see in a horror movie. This time I didn’t hold in the yelp of pain. I begged for him to stop, but he just snorted and laughed, spitting on it. “That’ll show you,” he said, smiling at his ‘work.’ He turned around and left my room, and I stared down at my arm, tears spilling down my cheeks. I took in a shaky breath, willing myself up so I could fix my arm up and try and get back to sleep.

***

After the previous night’s... antics, I needed to find a hoodie to cover my arms, to cover the evidence that was left there. Of course, I didn’t have any hoodies. Just my shitty, awful, terrible luck. I figured one was just buried under wads of clothes or blood-stained towels, but my treasure hunt yielded no precious gold. Finally, I broke and texted Austin.

Hey, um, can I ask a favor?

Depends what it is...

Do you have a hoodie I can borrow? the bigger the better.

What for?

No reason, all of mine are in the wash.

Oooo-kay, I’ll just pretend I’m not reading into that cryptic message..... any band logo preference? Mine are all band hoodies.

No, just a hoodie.

Sounds like a plan. See you in an hour.

Thank God he didn’t ask any other questions. Then I realized that I was late for school and ran towards the door, scooping up my backpack on the way. I jogged the rest of the way towards the school, thanking god I could at least handle that much physical activity. I knew if I was late, the school would call home, and my dad would not be happy about that.

“Yo! Hey, fag! Don’t run away from me!” Ronnie called. Fuck. I ran even faster, aching for the ‘protection’ the teachers at school offered. Literally. My thighs were killing me, and so was my arm, and if he saw the mark on my arm I’d get it even harder. I glanced behind me, looking at Ronnie, and smashed into a body in front of me.

“Shit, I’m so -” I look up at the person I ran into, and see Austin’s concerned face looking down on me. “Sorry.” I finished my sentence, his eyes drawing mine in. I quickly glance away, not wanting him to have even more reason to call me a fag.

“You okay?” He asked, handing me an Amity Affliction hoodie. I took it gratefully.

“U-uh yeah, I’m f-fine,” I stuttered, yanking the hoodie on as fast as I could so he wouldn’t see my arm.

“You definitely aren’t fine.” He said flatly. His eyes were sad, like he knew what I was going through. “Hang out with me this morning, we can talk?”

I nodded. Was I actually making a friend? Probably not. “Sure?” I said, the phrase sounding more like a question than I intended.