Crossroads (Book Three)

Chapter 35

Lyla

My heart is racing as I slam the door behind me and break into a run. I'm not sure where I'm going, but my feet start carrying me away from this situation. I'm not even sure how I'm breathing right now, how my lungs could possibly be pumping oxygen into my blood right now, but I keep breathing and moving. I don't want to go to my apartment.

I don't want to see anyone right now. Shawn's harsh words race through my mind as I try to escape them, not wanting to accept what they meant and the choice I made when I walked out the door.

I realize I've made it to campus as my feet start to throb in the flats I wore tonight, definitely not supportive or appropriate footwear for running, but I needed to get away. I round the athletics building, heading to where I know the track is around back. When I reach the track I remove my flats and start to run along the track, the padded surface under my feet a welcoming comfort.

I round the track too many times to count until my lungs burn in my chest and I slow to a walk. I'm in a trance as I walk on autopilot over to the bleachers and take a seat on the bench. The tears come now, accompanied by body shaking sobs.

I bend my knees into my chest and hug myself, trying to keep myself from physically breaking into pieces like my emotions are. I try to remind myself to breathe as I sob, choking on my own breaths. I shakily inhale and exhale, trying to keep myself from hyperventilating.

I can't even begin to wrap my head around what just happened. It feels like it was all a bad dream, like there was no chance it could be real. Shawn was cold, his eyes dark, when he gave me that ultimatum. I never thought our relationship would come to an end over one. Hell, I never thought our relationship would ever come to an end period.

The nerves I had been feeling the past two weeks about our future and bringing up the discussion with Shawn pales in comparison to the pain I feel now. I would give anything to go back to earlier today, when everything seemed more simple. It had been a straightforward decision. Either he comes with me or I go by myself.

I never wanted to pressure him to come with me or make him feel obligated to go, but I knew I wasn't going to go back on my own decision to go. I wanted this badly and all I wanted to hear from him was encouragement and acceptance. Instead I got forced into a corner, my only way out to take the door that presumably ended our relationship.

"Hey."

My head snaps to the right where I heard the voice. My eyes fall upon Will as he slowly approaches me, his hands shoved in his pockets. I wipe away at my face, trying my best to rid the evidence of my tears. He stops a few feet in front of me and I feel his gaze burning a hole into me without even looking at him.

"Are you okay?"

I sigh in response, my head continues to hang as I look down at the grrond under my feet. Clearly, I'm not okay, but it's the polite thing to ask when you find someone in tears. I don't feel like answering him. I catch him moving out of the corner of my eye and feel the bench move under me as he takes a seat beside me, thankfully leaving a few feet between us.

I can't help but feel guilty that I'm here with him right now. I didn't call him, I didn't know he would find me here and choose to approach me, yet I feel like I'm doing something wrong. After telling Shawn about the almost kiss last week I feel like I should be keeping my distance from Will.

"I just finished a workout and came outside to run a few laps when I noticed you here," he explains softly. "I thought you were having dinner with Shawn tonight?" He asks hesitantly.

I nod my head in response, still not looking up at him.

"I take it that it didn't go well," he says and I can't help it when a sarcastic laugh slips from between my lips.