Crossroads (Book Three)

Chapter 38

Shawn

I stare at myself in my washroom mirror. The four weeks worth of stubble on my face has now made the transition to full on beard. It helps to draw some attention away for the dark circles around my eyes, even if I haven't been trimming it to keep it neat. It goes along with my hair at this point though, unruly and not styled as it points out in every direction off my head, still in the same position from when I woke up. I sigh as I finish brushing my teeth and rinse my mouth before I leave the washroom.

It has been four weeks since the breakup. That also means it's been four weeks since I've seen or spoken to Lyla. For that matter, I've barely spoken to anyone the past four weeks besides my dad, Bailey and Danielle. I spend my time either in class, at physio or at home in my bedroom brooding.

All my focus has been put into physio at this point and I'm thankful I have somewhere to direct all this pent up energy inside of me. I'm sure my therapist is getting irritated with me now though and my moodiness during our appointments. It's not their fault, I'm just fucking miserable and have come to accept it. I don't have the drive at this point to put on a happy face for anyone and pretend everything is all good.

Bailey has been relentless with visiting me at the house multiple times a week. She brings me take out usually and orders me to sit down at the kitchen table with her and talk. Most of the time she runs the entire conversation and I just nod along with her.

Some nights she forces me to watch a TV show or movie in the living room with her. I have no doubt her babysitting of me is taking a toll on her on social life, but I appreciate it more then she knows, I just can't find the words to tell her now, but I will one day.

Danielle has also been checking in on me daily. She makes sure I'm eating, sleeping and showering. I know that seems like the basic routine of someone's day, but I will grossly admit I didn't shower for the first five days after the break and just laid in my bed. It wasn't pretty and I was not a fun time to be around.

Will has pretty much avoided me, which is smart of him. I want to wring his neck out for telling Lyla about the whole Africa trip to begin with. If she never knew about it, she would be staying here this summer with me and we could have the time together to plan for next year. And don't get me started on that punk trying to make a move on Lyla while we were still together. I bet he's fucking happy we broke up, probably thinks he can swoop right in now.

I tried calling Lyla multiple times the first few days following the breakup. I sent dozens of texts too, but I never got a response. I even dragged my depressed ass out of my bed and to her apartment two nights in a row. Megan answered the door both times and told me that Lyla didn't want to see me right now.

Knowing that Lyla was only down the hallway as I stood in the doorway was pure torture. Megan was sympathetic both times I showed up there, begging to see Lyla. I'm sure I looked pathetic standing there in the hallway in sweats with bloodshot eyes from crying and no sleep. I dragged my feet back down the hallway both nights towards the elevator, feeling even more defeated with each step.

I walk back into my bedroom and grab my phone while I fall back onto my bed. I have a text from my dad checking in with how my day is going. Bailey had been the one to fill him in on the whole breakup with Lyla and me. He had called later that afternoon to check on me which I had appreciated more then I thought I would. Over the past four weeks we've chatted almost everyday.

We made a plan for me to still move home this summer and do my physio at a clinic in town. I already confirmed it was an approved clinic by the team. Since Lyla wouldn't be here it didn't make sense for me to stick around Oakridge for the summer and pay rent on an apartment when I could live at home and focus one hundred percent on next season and getting myself ready.