Just a bit of fun

The change in my life

The school day felt longer then any other day. I just wanted to get out of there. By the time I got out I knew what I wanted to do. I knew I didn't want to be with Jake. I knew I had to end it. It couldn't go on for any longer. He wasn't the person for me. He might of been brilliant in bed, but I have been thinking and I want someone who's brilliant in bed and someone who without sex it's amazing. Im thinking like an no slut would think, what is happening to me? Is me wanting to be with a nerd changing me? Is he the one? Is he the person I've been told about? Is he gonna change my life, for the better? Or is he gonna change it for the worst? I'm thinking about this all even though I'm still with Jake, I haven't told him I don't want to be with him anymore. I still haven't even told Luke how I feel about him. This is the only break up I've been scared about, because Jake is the only boy I have dated who is a boxer, I don't want him to get angry and hit me or anything. This is gonna be very hard for me and for him, but it's the best thing in my opinion, it needs to happen. I can't be in a relationship with someone I don't love, when there is someone out there that I do love. This is so hard, this is the time I wish my best friend was here, but she isn't, she is dead, but that's a story for later.
Well I need to tell Jake, the whole way home from school I was thinking about how to tell him easily, without him being mad,but I still have no idea, just gonna go in and tell him quickly.
As I walked into my house, he was still there laying in my bed still in his boxer watching walking dead. That's nearly all he does when I'm at school, he loves it, sometimes I think he loves it more then he loves me, but if that's the case then it would be easier to break up with him so I wish it is.
As I walked into my bedroom I was shaking so much, I couldn't stop it. As I walked over to him I tried to make is so you couldn't see I was shaking so he wouldn't think that I was nervous or scared about something. But I'm not very good at hiding things.
"Lilly" he said as I walked over to the bed, "what is up, babe? Why do you look scared? Did something happen at school" he sat up as he finished what he was saying. For some reason when ever I come home from school scared Jake thinks I'm getting bullied, well I am, and he knows that but he thinks something really bad has happened.
*I looked down at the floor and sat down at the edge of the bed and I mumbled* "umm well I have to tell you something that is really hard to say and I don't want you to get mad or hate me"
He had no idea what I was on about, he came and sat behind me, hugged me from the back and kisses my cheek and said "babe is everything okay at school, why would I hate you? Did you do something you should, does this naughty girl need me to teach her a lesson" as he said that he smirked.
I shock my head, he looked at me in shock, he looked at me as if he knew what I was gonna say. That just made it harder for me to say. But I needed to so I did I just quickly said it
"Jake I know this may be hard to hear but I don't think us to are working out, to me everything has been fun but I just don't feel the spark anymore, we have to end us, I'm sorry." Tears started to run down my face but I glad I said it.
Jake looked at me with watery eyes and didn't say a word, put on his jeans and shirt and walk out the house and I saw him run home, well I hope it was home.