Suffering for Peace

A new habit

Lizzie: Why don't you go eating with me now?

Acacia: I don't think others will accept that, most are still afraid of me.

Lizzie: You don't need to hesitate, then they need to learn to accept it. Come on, we will sit as far away from others as you want but you will go with me to the Great Hall to eat.

We both stood up and she took my hand to pull me inside the castle. The halls were empty and cold since the sun wasn't on her highest point anymore and the candles didn't give lots of warmth. Once in the hall that led to the door of the room where we need to go eating, voices started to get louder. I feared that one of the teachers would get angry for getting too close to students, but Lizzie comforted me with that when we entered the giant hall.

She guided me to a place at the farthest right table where not many students sat, else they would just move away. I felt a little comfortable once I saw Newt sitting at the front table at the end of the hall between the other teachers. The food was delicious but I didn't eat much of it, I am used to small meals and I can stand that. Ornisses are just built differently than humans.

Lizzie: Did or do you have any siblings actually?

Acacia: No, none, else it would be fighting over the throne if I had a brother. But a sibling wouldn't be disturbing, then I could have someone to play with me in the royal garden or to run around the palace. I still miss those days.

Lizzie: Oh, sorry that I asked.

Acacia: It is nothing, you don't need to blame yourself, it isn't your fault. I need some time alone if that is okay.

I stood up and left the hall. I went straight to the grass field where I first sat as I started to sing the first lullaby my mom ever sang me. More to the end, tears fell down my cheeks, this time more than before. And then, at the end of the song, I let out a loud scream, the one when from this morning but this time without getting electrocuted, just out of nothing. I sat on my knees and with my head on the ground, thinking of all the bad things that ever happened to me.

I noticed students coming outside and teachers following, they must have thought that I had gone lose again or wanted to hurt someone because most of them had their magical sticks out. Lizzie wanted to run to me but got held back by one of the elder teachers. Newt was the one that came running to me and held his hand on my back as he crouched down next to me.

Acacia: It is just some thoughts, it is nothing. Please, let them leave, but let Lizzie outside.

Newt shook his head to the other teachers who guided all the students back inside except for Lizzie, she finally got to me and gave me a hug again.

Acacia: Please don't blame yourself because of your question, I have my days like this, this time I just let it all out.

Newt: What were you thinking about then?

Acacia: Just all the bad things that you ever did to me, not you 2 but the others. I just want that it all never happened. I break from it.

Newt: Take the following days some rest and try to keep those thoughts away.

Acacia: I can't, that is the problem! I fear everything currently! Don't you see that everyone held those sticks out?! I am traumatized by them! They can do everything!

Lizzie: Snape is just still afraid of the war.

Acacia: He killed my mother and shot me out of the air for nothing!!

I jumped up and shot away from the ground. I landed on the highest roof of the castle to progress all the things I was thinking about.

Newt: I hope she will be down by the next day. Have you got a handshake from her maybe?

Lizzie: Before we went eating, yes. But I asked her if she had any siblings at dinner and then, she started to sound miserable. I mustn't have asked it.

Newt: As she said, it isn't your fault. It is mostly Snape's and a bit McGonnagal's, they killed her parents and captured her. Yes, Snape is still afraid of her but he can't be for always. She will be attacked at her stay inside the castle, that will surely happen, but after that, you need to leave her alone for some time. She is an abnormal ornis, she isn't 100 percent dangerous, 30 percent is traumatized by the war and 40 is emotionally unstable since she got captured.

Lizzie: And the other 30?

Newt: 25 is her happiness and memories, the other 5 is dangerous, that only comes up once you mess with her.

Lizzie: How do you know so much about her? You only have been here since the beginning of the year.

Newt: Dumbledore has informed me long ago about her and we talked every evening, I know how she feels at some moments.

I sat actually really long on the roof, almost the whole night. I got off when the sun began to rise again above the mountains, back sitting on the grass. I was still thinking about all those bad things and they kept circulating inside my head. 'You are a monster.' 'This is your desteny.' 'No one will ever love you.' 'You are a useless princess to her kingdom.' That last one was said the first time I woke up in that cage.