Terrorcest one shots

Remembrance

A/N: warning, sad. Also, if you don't know who Mari is, she's the OC from Starry Eyes, she's Vince's little girl that Nikki developed a strong bond with because they share a lot of the same childhood trauma. This is a long one, so it may end up being broken up. Honestly this chapter was pretty therapeutic, even though it's sad.

Nikki holds Tommy's hand, the cool morning breeze blowing in through the open porch doors as they watch their children play outdoors. The kids run around, screaming, and laughing, but Nikki and Tommy are doing anything but. Today is always a sad day, no matter how long ago it happened.

"Today is her birthday..." Nikki mumbles, leaning his head on Tommys shoulder. "She would love this place..."

"I know baby...I know." Tommy whispers, rubbing Nikki's arm comfortingly.

"If we had gotten her to the hospital quicker...she might have made it."

"Nik...we knew that it might happen...we knew that treatment wasn't working...w-we knew. Vince did everything he could...we did everything we could..."

"I know...I know...but imagine...imagine her growing up and coming to visit us...coming to visit Vince...would she have ever realized that we weren't her actual uncles? Or would she still call us Uncle Nikki and Uncle Tommy?" Nikki sighs, glancing at the portrait of the small blonde girl on their mantle. Another one is right beside it.

This one, this one, Nikki has contemplated taking down several times. Once, Tommy did. It pains them both to look at it. Vince has the same photo, and much more, since Mari was actually his daughter. The only reason they haven't taken this one down, is remembrance.

Mari is sitting in a ski lift, sandwiched in between Nikki and Tommy. This is one of the last photos they have of her smiling. Her hair had started to grow back, peach fuzz. To others, it would have meant nothing, but right there, in that moment, it meant everything to Vince, Nikki, Tommy, and Mick. Mari had been on hospice, but somehow, she pulled through. She didn't even need oxygen anymore, so they took her on a ski trip, fully intending to make her as comfortable as possible when she came home, and Vince even had some hope that she might beat...the disease once and for all.

Nikki doesn't like the words for the disease. B-cell Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. To shorten it up, cancer. Cancer. A sick, cowardly disease that hides in the darkness to snatch away the innocent souls of people who just want to live. The day Vince took her to the doctor, violently concerned, was the day that their lives basically ended. The outlook wasn't good from the beginning, they didn't get the diagnosis in optimal time, and the cancer had spread from her bloodstream to her spinal fluid. Still, doctors said she could be cured and proceeded to put her on an aggressive chemotherapy regiment.

They had hope. You never think a 7 year old will just die...in a way, it's unfathomable.

None of them will ever forget though.

1987-

Nikki shakes the sleep out of his eyes, annoyed at the ringing of the phone. If somebody calls in the middle of the night, it's always him who ends up answering, if it gets picked up at all. Tommy sleeps too damn heavily to even hear the ringing, much less care about it. Nikki supposes that he's a light sleeper because he often listened for screaming, and arguing from his mom and her boyfriends.

He shuffles toward the phone, picking it up. "Hello?"

"Nikki!" The panic in Vince's voice hits Nikki like a ton of bricks. His chest instantly tightens.

Mari hasn't been doing good. They had her up and off of hospice not too long ago, but these last few days, her health has spiraled. The cancer has spread to her brain, doctors told Vince, Mick, Tommy, weeks ago that she had a 0% chance to live, and that he would be surprised if she even made it through the week. They began making preparations. They went through the motions. Vince later described it as the most harrowing week of his life, just waiting for the pin to drop as she was put on hospice, and sent home.

He laid with her in bed every night of that week, shushing her pained cries, fetching the pain meds when the pain became too overwhelming for her to sleep, and singing to her until she fell asleep. After she was asleep, he would lay awake, crying silent tears, wondering if she would still be breathing when he opened his eyes the next morning.

Nikki, Tommy, and Mick helped Vince out the best that they could all through that week, and surprisingly, she made it through that week...and then another...and she slowly got stronger. But now, Nikki isn't sure, but he's hoping that it's nothing serious.

"Mari spiked a fever and then she started screaming bloody murder in the middle of the night. I don't know anything else but I just brought her to the hospital." He gushes out, making Nikki's head spin a little.

"Do you need us to come down there?" His voice quivers, but he reminds himself  that Vince needs him to be strong.

"Not right now, it's 2AM, but like, first thing in the morning okay?"

Nikki agrees, but he never does get back to sleep, finally heading downstairs to work on a bass part, then distract himself with some trash TV. At 8:23, the phone rings again. He drags himself off of the couch, sipping his morning beer, and picks the phone up, heart dropping into his feet. "Vince?" he asks, hoping that it's somebody else.

The person on the other end of the line doesn't say anything at first, but Nikki can hear the heavy breathing. "Vince?"

"Y...Yeah..." Vince finally gasps out, and Nikki can just barely make out the muffled sobs.

His heart shatters. Somehow, he just knows. The tears well up in his eyes before Vince verbally confirms it, but, he knows. Vince sobs and sobs, unable to push the words out, until Nikki finally tells him that he'll tell Tommy and Mick, and they'll be there soon.

He sobs the entire way to the hospital. Tommy does too. Mick's tears are quieter, but they flow as fast as everybody elses.

Nikki shivers, putting down the photo, and staring into the eyes of the sweet little girl. This is how he'd rather remember Mari, but even this memory is bittersweet. You could tell that they were just trying to hold onto something that wasn't there. It was a great trip though, they really got to have some quality time together outside of the hospital, and it felt good, even knowing that she wasn't going to live much longer. They came out to Jackson to ski, and have fun, because Mari told  Vince that she wanted to see snow. She's the only reason that Nikki and Tommy live here. Nikki had to get out of the city, but they both wanted to remain close to her. When the proposition to go to Jackson came up, Nikki and Tommy jumped on it, remembering the good times that they showed her, all of which you'll find out soon.

A/N: Since my sister was diagnosed, my worst fear has been the cancer winning. I have never felt more alone in my life, despite being surrounded by people offering us prayers and hope, offering us comfort, but sometimes, comfort feels fake when the harsh reality that is cancer slaps you in the face. Even surrounded by the people meant to help cancer kids and their families, I feel alone, but writing helps me feel better. This was incredibly therapeutic, and I got one of my worst fears out of my head for a little bit. But with things that help, comes lots of crying, I actually got a teensy bit dehydrated from crying while writing this.

ALSO, Mari will not die of cancer in Starry Eyes! I wouldn't do that to you guys.