She is not an addiction
She is not a drug or drink
Although she controls my day
How I act
And how I think
She controls my nights
Every minute I'm not sleeping
It gets more and more dangerous for me
I imagine a blade and a thigh that is seeping
Seeping blood and seeping anxiety
Removing the anxiousness from my body
It's exhilarating
I feel free
I guess it is an addiction
I have an addiction
It doesn't feel harmful to me
I don't understand the problem
I would love to understand
But I simply don't
Put me in an asylum
I'm crazy
I don't understand why it's bad to run a blade through my thigh and feel incredible
I don't understand what I did wrong
But I did something
Something that when I tell people what I did they hug me with tears in their eyes and tell me they are proud of me
Proud of me for something they shouldn't have to be
Parents don't talk about how proud they are of their kids for telling them they are cutting
Parents saying they are proud of their kid for NOT cutting isn't even a thing
So when someone tells me that they are proud of me
It feels like a lie
Like I'm a burden
Something you don't need to spend your time thinking about
I'm sorry I cut and I wish it had nothing to do with you
And the reason I cut has nothing to do with you
But I'm sorry you have to think about it
And worry about it
And worry about me
You deserve better
Better than me
YOU ARE READING
Self Harm Poems/thoughts My Personal Journal And Experience On It
PoesiaTw for self harm, suicide, and sexual assault please stay safe and do not read if you aren't in the right mindset I was cutting for a while and when I told my mom I felt horrible and guilty for her. So this is my Journaling experience for it which c...
