The Prince's Pretend Mother

Twenty-Second Entry - 'Til I'm Gathered Safely In

Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin

Dance me through the panic 'til I'm gathered safely in

Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove

I came waveringly to Thranduil's side one afternoon soon after, cane thumping into the soft rug. "You have been staring at that map all morning and since midday. Please come outside with me. You will benefit from it I promise." I dug the balls of my thumbs into the backs of his shoulders, up and down the top of his spine. Even he wasn't naturally this tense. Our king operated upon the firm belief that all he did was correct and necessary-he had no reason, with that faith, to doubt himself. "Thranduil, I will pull your hair until you come with me." I began to tug on the white ends.

He tilted to pull his hair out of my mischievous hands. "You are a troublesome creature," he drawled. He flicked his quill into its draining well and shoved his chair back the moment I had stepped out of the way.

"What is it you are wearing yourself to pieces over?" I wanted to know, extending my hand to take my cane as he took it from where I'd leaned it against the side of the desk.

He sighed. "I shall leave that open for your presumptions. Shall we?"

I shrugged. "Surely if you wish to go, we shall go."

He rolled his eyes at me. "Come along, you troublesome, drunken waif."

"It's for your own good I'm crooked-otherwise I would smarten you up around the edges."

"I am certain you would."

Several minutes later he helped me into my saddle and I buckled it across my hips. "Where are we going, my lady?"

"I thought along the edge of the forest. I have not greeted the fields in ages."

"How peculiar you can be when you are of a mind to distract," he philosophized, mounting with far more grace than I was now capable of. I found myself envious, but reminded myself that my choice would not have changed if I had known its outcomes. "I do not recall this being a part of your job description."

"You told me to return him in the evening. You did not say whom. I shall return you by evening, never fear. It's not as if I want to be responsible for you on a daily basis."

"And here I was believing you already were. You certainly comport yourself as if all that I accomplish is your doing."

"Do I? I was aiming for something more subtle than that."

We stepped out under the trees and along the river. I knew Thranduil enjoyed swifter rides but this was an enforced relaxation, and I knew he would not leave me behind even if the pace 'tired' him. We spoke of inconsequential things, things which permitted him to think if he wished to or not if he didn't. Soon we diverged from the river and forest both, exiting the trees to stand in the sunlight.

We paused at one curling stretch where the trees to our right undulated against the grass as though they were waves of their own. The trees along this edge had mostly escaped burning. Turning my mare out toward the gleaming grasses I sighed, wondering, as I always did even still, how we would be tomorrow. Having lost so many every one of us was yet in mourning-every one of us had lost someone they could no longer love the way they were supposed to. I, too, had lost friends. "I wonder if it is a disgrace to their memory to attempt to escape remembering that they have died," I breathed at last.

"I do not believe they care what we think or do any longer."

I glanced at him. "I hope they do. We certainly still care about them. I should hate to think that all of that longing goes wasted."