The Prince's Pretend Mother

Seventh Entry - Out Like a Firefly

But the shout reached the girl and put her light out.

She went out like a firefly, and that was all.

*

Whenever my brother must go out on an activity more dangerous than routing out a halfnest of spiders, frequently I noticed Thranduil in the vicinity of the returning company. Not always. But often, when I awaited the soldiers' return, I saw him striding on a higher balcony or slipping back into a distant hall. I could think of few reasons why he would take such a sudden interest, but then perhaps his appearance had simply slipped my notice before. Soon after Firven appeared Thranduil tended to vanish. If their company returned while I was with Legolas he was always the one to suggest we go down to wait for them at whatever gate they would be coming through, and his consideration made me well aware he understood why I waited. I appreciated him, everything he had become as he grew. Further decades had passed. He was just as tall as I was now. Thranduil liked to tell him that soon he would be allowed to say all the things I had forbidden him from in his earlier youth. I wondered if saying them would be just as fun when he was grown as it had been when he was smaller. He couldn't sit on my lap anymore, nor could I carry him. If tragedy struck there was little I could do for him now except to stand between him and whatever wanted to hurt him. Precious little could, though—his archery instructor, who had also taught my son, had given us a tiny smile when he said Legolas had surpassed Milir's skills when Milir had been Legolas's age. Since Milir's talent had been what inspired Legolas to his own I was proud, but Legolas had been uncertain.

Despite my reassurances from years past, he still never wished to stand before me and my memory of my son. But as I stood watching him as he practiced in various armed combats—flinching and covering my eyes at moments because I couldn't help hating seeing blades flying toward him—I saw how his dedication flung him further than my son had been interested in going. Legolas did not seem to understand that I could still love them both, just in different directions. Or he did, and he still worried. As fearless as he could be in many of his endeavors, it sometimes frightened me how quiet he became when something less than positive concerned myself or his father, or a few other people. I knew what love could do to kindhearted people.

And then Legolas would finish with his swordsmanship lesson, or the lesson in daggers, or some other awful fighting scrap he had with others in the training yard in the forest and see me cringing, and laugh, taking my hands down from my eyes so I could see for myself that he was just as unharmed as he'd been when I'd last peeked out from behind my fingers.

Legolas hadn't had time to return his leather armor to his rooms after one of his 'awful fighting lessons', as I called them, so he stood with me still wearing it as we awaited Firnen and the rest of his company. "I still cannot understand why you still flinch. You have been watching me at my lessons for decades, and the weapons are all blunted."

"Yes because blunt things cannot harm you." I reached underneath my arm and lightly pinched his waist, making him jump.

"Ow!" He rubbed the sore spot I'd made, and I snickered. "You will do anything to make your point," he grumbled.

"Oh yes," I agreed. "I cannot help flinching, Legolas. I will probably flinch the next time a leaf drops too close to your head, too."

"What would happen if I pinched you back?"

"A great battle would be enacted, and I would pretend I knew how to win to preserve my honor."

"Or rather your pride."

I elbowed him.

Firven's company began filing through the gate and Legolas and I stepped forward to stand at the railing of the balcony we stood on, from where we could watch them as soon as they passed through the doors. I didn't know how many soldiers would be in each excursion so I didn't bother counting, but when a great number of them had come through and Firven had not yet been among them my heart began to slow. The number of those entering and passing through to the barracks was slowing as well. I stepped forward again, as though walking through water, and found the man who had led this attack.