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"Finally, the winners are announced and so are methods to improve!"
The long awaited results for the fantasy genre is here! Firstly, a huge round of applause and a namaste to the judges, Anony10298 and Brittney015 and for spending their valuable time to judge the entries! Secondly, Ilakshi and I would like to thank all the participants who took part!
Please respect the decisions and reviews of the judges! Do NOT blame them and bully them. If news of such irresponsible behavior reaches our ears, you will be reported without a second thought. There will be a honourable mention for this genre as we do not wish to discourage or leave out any participant.
Cover (3/5)- The necessary parts of a cover, the title and the name of the author is there. But it's hard to read due to the colour scheme. White letters on light blue does not make the title jump out at the reader, as a good cover should do. Other than that, the cover is fine.
Title (3/5)- The title does attract attention, but not enough to make the reader want to click it. I believe it is there for decoration purposes? It can do without it too, but it being there isn't doing any harm either.
Blurb (3/5)- The blurb is confusing. The first two lines suggest that Haley ran away because she was fed up of her brother. And then her parents told her a story about her great-gran? Rearranging the words a bit might help. Other than that the blurb does make sense, though it doesn't arouse the curiosity within the reader.
Creativity (3/5): I think the idea of a warrior great-gran leading her decendent to an epic adventure is pretty unique. Though the way of incorporating it (via dream) wasn't very creative.
Chapter- (Punctuation: 2/5) The whole of the first chapter is a big block of text. It exhausts the readers just looking at it. A big turn off. Since there were no paragraphs, it was hard to seperate dialogues from narrative, descriptive, and expository paragraphs. The way the dialogues were punctuated wasn't right either.
[Exerpt: 'Haley, we have something to tell you.' Mum shouted across the hallway.]
The correct way to right it would be: 'Haley, we have something to tell you,' Mum shouted across the hallway.
With a comma inside the quotation mark because a dialogue tag was used ("shouted"). The dad's line should be written similarly but as a new paragraph, to let the readers understand who said what and when Haley's dad started speaking. I noticed that eventually, the writer stopped using the quotation marks entirely.
[Exerpt: But that is not all. Dad continued, after she got run over the doctors came to see her...]
It should have been : 'But that's not all,' Dad continued, 'after she got run over, the doctors came to see her...'
