Thoughts that creep into my mind
And repetitively torture my broken soul
"I'm okay," I whisper
as my life spins out of control.
My hands are shaking, I can't think straight,
I can't remember when I last ate.
Just when I think I'm winning the battle
I find myself planning my fate.
The pills that sit on the bedside,
The IV painkillers that are so tempting
The antibiotics they leave on the shelf
and the blood....
I fear I cannot save myself.
Screaming at the mirror
what have you done now,
Damaged goods lying on the floor.
wasted and going down
wanting more self destruction.. more, more,
How much more can I withstand
let's find out and cut so deep
Nerve damage I cannot repair
they say it's permanent and it's all so fair.
How did I come this far just to fall again?
My hands are shaking holding the blood IV to my side
Just one pull
and this hell will finally subside....
