How Did You Get Into My Garage?! (Muzan Kibutsuji X Teen! Reader)

Self Care, Mr. Satan

"Wait, wait wait. . .DON'T EAT THAT!!!-----Anddd you ate it."

The Demon Lord screamed as you threw the small cup of red pepper flakes to the floor and caused his hand to enveloped in flesh as you flung yourself out of the way as the flesh went straight towards you, stopping at the wall as Muzan stopped his temper tantrum from eating something too spicy. You breathed a sigh of you got up, holding your hand to your chest to try to ease your breathing from the Demon Lord eating every scrap of food he could find.

"At least tell me you demons can eat something other than human flesh---" You breathed out as you rested yourself on the wall as Muzan looked at you with a puzzled face, with his veins showing and his hands showing full well his demon claws.

"There is nothing else I can eat other than humans, you mortal. Besides don't you have like, enemies or something that I can eat?" Muzan asked you as he pointed at your backpack that was hanging on the coat hangers, "Why must you have a large carrier if you don't harvest grains?"

"It's called school. Where you go and suffer hours of educational torture and risk your reputation to your other classmates every second and every move you make is judged on by them. Also, drama." You said as you took off the backpack from the coat hanger and put on you, "I have to wake up early enough to catch the damn bus with kids that are so immature they couldn't keep a straight face if they were on the verge of dying. Honestly, you're lucky you don't have to go to school. I have a lot of enemies over there that I'd like for you to kill, but they don't deserve to be killed. It's only the immature ones that do. They almost killed an old lady by almost running her over."

"Jesus."

"So, if you'd like to take a bite out of them, go ahead. I don't care." You murmured as you flopped down on the couch, looking at your phone.

"Where are you parents. . .?" Muzan questioned, sitting down next to you as he looked at you questionably.

 "Abroad. Across the world. Of course, I'm tasked with keeping this house in line, which isn't really that much of a big deal, but it's nice to have someone with me." You smiled at Muzan as he looked down, both angry and flustered.

"Well? Can I eat those kids?"

"Uh. . .Sure? They live down the street." You said as you pointed south. In a moments flash, Muzan was gone. You sighed, pulling down your phone as you realized you just sent a flesh-eating Michael Jackson to go and eat some kids.

Moments later, Muzan was back, only with a little bit of blood on his chin as looked at you. You flinched and screamed, before stopping, and then looking at him with a scared face.

"So. . . How. . .Was it?" You mumbled, putting your phone down as you stared at him as he wiped the blood off of his face before smiling a bit.

"These humans have a different taste than the ones I'm used to. But, it's still fine." Muzan said.

"Okay, if you're done with your eating fit, is there anything else you want to know?" You asked, pointing to his mouth as he frowned.

"Don't you have like, books here? And what is that gadget in your hand that you seem really interested in?" Muzan asked, pointing to your phone and then looking around your house.

"There are lots of books that you'll probably like, like, uh, the Hunger Games or uhm. . . I dunno, Wings Of Fire? Also, this is called a phone. It's basically a small TV you can carry with you with loads of things to do. Like for example-" You held up at your phone camera at Muzan as you took a photo of him, with him flinching in response at the light. You pressed on your album app and turned your phone to him to see him in the most ridiculous pose ever covering his eyes.

"Also, I have school tomorrow, so I don't know if you're going to stay here or maybe come to my school to drop me out early." You added, hoping he'd say to drop you out.

"I'd like to see your suffer then. I'm going to look outside." He said as he got up, and started to walk away. You looked back at your phone, and he looked back to see your necklace. . .With the Hanafuda symbol on it. Muzan's pupils lengthened as he stared at the necklace, before walking away, vivid memories of Yorrichi coming back to him. Maybe, somehow, this person knew about that family that he had murdered. . .Well, they knew everything about his universe. They-

"You stopped walking and started murmuring in Japanese, Muzan. Go and read a book or something, like how you always do or harass some girls outside by pressing your hand against their cheeks like how you did with fabric girl." you said, waving him off as he looked at you, baffled.

"You knew what now-"

"Shit." You got up and flung yourself once again out of the way as Muzan's giant flesh arm emerged again and tried to kill you. Stormy, who was behind you, fluffed her tail up in your face as they walked away and near Muzan, where they sat next to the Demon Lord and watched you flinch.

"HEY, AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE, STORMY!?!!" You yelled as Muzan rolled his eyes and walked out.

You got up from your hole of fear as you started to get ready for a typical day in a Middle School. Granted, you were supposed to be dissecting frogs in science, taking a map test in Social Studies, having a Fitness Test in P.E, and. . .Yeah. You'd rather be at him with Michael Jackson than go to school. Also, you had thought about the fact that demons from Demon Slayer don't eat Human food, and yet Muzan was consuming Cheetos left and right as if it was the end of the world. Maybe demons could eat American food???? Anyways, out of the question, you at least would hope that Muzan could at least drop you out of school for an hour, but Demons are unpredictable and this was the fucking Demon Lord himself, so. . .There wasn't a good chance.