Free Fall - Dazai Osamu x Reader

5. Justify

White knuckled, your hands gripped the sides of the dirty porcelain sink. The dim fluorescent lights flickered above you, making you feel disoriented.

You tried your best to steady yourself.

When you looked up into the mirror, your pale-but-with-a-tinge-of-green reflection greeted you. Your forehead was clammy, and your eyes lidded.

Unwillingly, the gruesome sight you'd just witnessed flashed through your mind.

Bile rose in your throat, and you squeezed your eyes shut, focusing all of your energy on forcing the acidic burn back down and keeping your body upright. It was a challenge, considering how your knees shook and the feeling of lightheadedness threatened to pull you to the ground.

To put it lightly, you were a mess.

You cursed yourself for having such a weak stomach. It wasn't something you would have expected. Horror, gore, and violence in books or in movies never really bothered you, even if it wasn't your favorite genre. But no amount of fiction could prepare you for the reality that you faced one room over.

When Dazai, Tanizaki, and you had arrived at this large, stuffy government office building, you didn't know what to expect. You weren't officially a member of the Armed Detective Agency, not having taken your entrance exam yet, so you assumed the "assignment" Dazai mentioned would be assisting him with something small.

You definitely were not prepared to walk in on the scene of a murder.

It was barely a minute before you had to excuse yourself, mumbling to Dazai that you weren't feeling well before you darted for the bathroom in the hallway. Thankfully, no one else was in here to hear your vomit splash in the toilet when you first walked in.

As you watched your sick-looking face in the mirror, you felt defeated. Not only were you still dealing with the heaviness of running into Akutagawa yesterday, but you'd just run away from your first Agency job, horrified and unprepared.

How could you have been so naive? You knew before you made the decision to leave the Mafia that this was the kind of work the A.D.A. took on- solving mysteries too daunting for the police force. To every other employee, the scene you'd just witnessed was probably nothing more than a typical Thursday.

You spit into the sink, trying to clear your mouth of the leftover acidic substance. You had to go back out there, and you knew you couldn't wait long, not wanting your professional reputation to be any more damaged than it likely already was.

Shakily, you smoothed over the top of your hair with your hands, salvaging your disheveled appearance to the best of your ability. You adjusted the thin black ribbon tied around the collar of your shirt, and took a deep breath before leaving the dim bathroom.

The overwhelming scent of blood overtook all of your senses before you even entered the room again. It nearly sent you sprinting back to the bathroom stall, but you were determined to stick it out this time, whatever it took.

Entering the office for the second time, you tried to keep your eyes on your feet as much as you could. You returned to stand between Dazai and Tanizaki. They were strangely quiet, the only chatter in the room being between the three police officers that hovered near the body.

"Everything alright?" Tanizaki whispered to you, his eyes concerned.

You nodded, not trusting yourself to open your mouth and speak a reply, fearing something else may come out.

Dazai spoke up then, talking to the officer in the room who appeared to be in charge. "Let's begin now, shall we?"

Clearing his throat, the officer gave you an annoyed look before he began giving details about the woman on the floor. "Yamamoto Haru. Forty-two years old. She was a judge in the city court system," he explained. "An office assistant found her like this when they arrived. Based on the amount of rigor mortis, she's been dead since at least last night."