Sheriff Marcus x Reader

Fourteen

The sun was already setting as you looked up from the pile of paperwork. The sinking sun painted the sky in blood, orange and gold. A hint of the nightly violett was already showing. Stars awoke in the distance.

Marcus was gone for a few hours now, a bit too long to make it seem like he had simple private matters to settle.

Frowning, you got up from his chair and started circling around the office while chewing on your lips, thinking. It started to upset you that he was gone for so long but maybe you were just too paranoid. After all, you had no idea what his private life was like.

Maybe he was dealing with his parents, maybe is mom was sick again just like she used to be all too often back in the day. Maybe he had things to settle with his father, still arguing about his choice of work. Maybe he was sorting things out with his wife. Or worse, maybe he had some wedding planning to do.

As the thought crossed your mind, you froze in the middle of the office.

You didn't know why but thinking about it made your heart ache.

He wasn't wearing a wedding ring, that had been one of the very first things you had checked after reuniting. He also seemed to work too much to be involved in a relationship but maybe his partner was just tolerating it.

Besides, he was still as grumpy and hard to get used to as ever. You had always expected he would get softer after marrying, so it felt wrong to assume he was about to celebrate a wedding.

While all those thoughts crossed your mind you had to admit that it made you feel pressured.

He probably had already forgotten but the two of you had given many promises to each other, including the promise to marry and have children at about the same time.

Back then it seemed like a natural thing to have both your wedding anniversaries and the birthdays of your future kids close to ensure they would be just as close as their parents.

But now you couldn't help but laugh about the childish delusion. It would be unfair of you to expect him to stop living his life just because you had disappeared.

And yet you couldn't help but sigh at the thought. It kind of hurt to think that he was in love with someone and you were not able to share this happiness at least a single bit.

"What a stupid thought...", you mumbled and massaged your forehead. "Get a hold of yourself. You're being a bitch. He deserves to be happy without you."

But no matter how much you tried to talk some common sense into yourself, you couldn't help but feel jealous of that one person that was able to give your best friend the life that he deserved.

You walked up to the window, throwing a glance outside but tore your head around as a small sound reached your ears. Alarmed by the sudden noise, your body reacted.

The tingle sensation returned.

You clenched your hands into fists, ready to make use of the cures that was nestling in your spine. A hint of warmth chased through your limbs, making you feel stronger than you've ever felt.

But as a familiar looking silhouette appeared in the shadows of the office, you quickly forced the feeling down again.

"Marcus.", not happy, your eyebrows knitted together. "Do you have any idea how late it is?"

With an apologetic smile on his round lips, he sighed and raised a cupholder with two cuts.

"I know but there was no other way.", his eyes softened as he placed one of the cups in your hand. "I brought coffee. Tea for you."

Without complain, you took the cup but moved aside as he tried to stand next to you. You leaned against the edge of his desk while watching him take a seat on a chair in front of the window.

He took a few sips of his coffee before glancing over to you.

"Go on.", he said. "Ask where I was."

Pulling a bitter face, you took a sip from the tea. He had picked one that tasted just the same like your moms homemade one. The taste brought back memories.

Immediately, your mood softened as well. Sighing, you threw your head back.

"Where have you been?", you asked. "I was starting to get worried."

He chuckled but his eyes seemed infinitely tired. He seemed to think of something.

"Feels shit, doesn't it? Let's play a game.", he smiled at you. "You answer one of my questions and I answer one of yours."

Confused, you frowned but agreed anyways.

"You start.", you took another sip of tea.

His gaze returned to the star sky outside the window.

"What were you up to all those years?", he asked as if he wanted the stars to answer. "If you survived that day it means you lived about... Ten? Fifteen? Twenty years without me?"

Your heart pulled together. Closing your eyes, you had to take a deep breath.

"I told you I'm not allowed to tell you."

"Then tell me the unimportant details. How did you feel? What was it like? Just tell me something, anything. I want to know what happened. Did you... ever try to return to me?"

That question hurt more than you had expected it to. Not that it took you by surprise. He had to ask sooner or later.
With a sad smile 0n your face you moved to his side.

One hand placed itself on his knee as you kneeled down between his legs so he was forced to look you in the eyes.

As he noticed the strangely painful expression on your face, Marcus couldn't help but feel guilty that he had forced you to answer.

"I... I was dying, Marcus.", you said and tried to smile as if it was just a bad memory. "Every day, I died. And every night I returned. The only thing that kept me going was the thought to see you again one day. But it wasn't my place to decide when this moment comes."

He swallowed hard. His eyes closed, so full of pain. He already regretted his decision.

"I was... settling issues with some gangster in the Undercity.", his hand grabbed yours to squeeze it gently. "But it didn't turn out the way I wanted. Things are just... getting out of hand."