𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗔𝗕𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗨𝗦 ? (wlw)

⚘᠂ 𝗦𝗘𝗖𝗥𝗘𝗧

ellie grazer
| 𝗦𝗘𝗖𝗥𝗘𝗧 |
#. 006

𝗧𝗢𝗥𝗡 would be the word I would use to describe the predicament my feelings were in. It was kind've like a sense of guilt almost with a mixture of unknowing. I felt bad, there was no doubt about that, yet I didn't quite honestly know what my next plan of action should be.

Alina had woken up with a hangover, unsurprisingly, and seemingly had a very vague memory of last nights antics. I knew she'd had a flashback of some kind when she took a first look at her phone and scrolled through the variety of texts from her lovely boyfriend.

I didn't snoop through them but I did grow curious to the seemingly never ending buzzes that radiated from her nightstand. I didn't know what they read and I didn't know how Alina had taken them but what I did know and what I did pick up on, was her quietness and I had picked up on it the minute she had taken the first glance to her phone.

She currently wasn't in the dorm as from her words, she was just 'taking a call'. I knew she was meeting with Tyler but hey, it wasn't any of my business. I didn't like it though. I knew that much. I didn't know majority of what was happening with Alina and him and I didn't know if she even remembered exactly what had went down or if she had even remembered telling me about it. I thought about mentioning it to her. Well, that was my plan at least. I would just tell her about what she had said. No big deal. Yet, I was for some reason, feeling very reluctant to do so.

Her relationship was a private thing and I understood that. And what she told me was probably meant to be a secret so I didn't know whether bringing it up would be a morally good thing to do. She had a lot on her plate. I mean, she had left over an hour ago and didn't show any sign of returning so I didn't know whether she was fixing what had happened or was just out with friends. Either way I still felt terrible.

This just gave me an actual reason to not like the guy. I hated him actually. She was such a sweet and kind soul and he just seemed to play her and her feelings. Like I said, I didn't know the in's and out's of their relationship but from an outer perspective it was an unhealthy, toxic mess.

Thinking about Alina and dwelling on the situation at hand was granting me with only more anxiety. It had been the only things possessing my mind all morning and I was tired of discussing the same things in my head. It was the same reason as to why I shoved the thoughts out of my head and actually got out of bed.

I figured my first plan would be to shower. I didn't know what I was going to do next yet I found myself not caring as I was already walking myself to the bathroom. I couldn't help but debate what I was going to do next though. Maybe I should text her? I was worried that was for sure. I mean, it had been over an hour. I should text her.

I had to stop myself right where I was and physically had to pull Alina's name out of my head. Only focussing on the plan of doing everything a step at a time. I shut the door, locking it behind me and twisted the knob on the shower. I watched as water spurted from the head before falling in a straight, good pressure line and took a few seconds to adjust the temperature and let it heat up into a steaming level.

I fumbled with my phone and swiped across my home page until I located spotify and shuffled my playlist. I smiled to myself as Killer Queen by Queen strung through my ears.

⚘᠂

I dragged my finger across the line of my sweat pants and adjusted them so that they were sitting on my hips perfectly. My phone was pushed into my pocket as I unlocked the door and stepped out while tilting my head to the side in the process and was using my towel to scrunch up my hair and absorb the water. It only took me a second to notice the other presence in the room and slightly gasped at the realisation.