Cote: Retelling

SS: It's not gay to like traps. Shut up, this is not an argument.

While coming back from a shopping trip, I notice an interesting collection of people grouped around a man... lying face-down on the floor. What, is this daylight murder? Am I witness to a crime? Jokes aside, my curiosity is peaked. I discretely duck behind the nearby foliage and crawl my way towards them undetected. Coming closer, I poke a hole through the bush so I can see everyone's faces.

There are a total of 4 people including the guy on the floor, all from class D. We have Hondou, my average-highschool-boy-behaviour scale, Inogashira, that cute girl who fumbled her introduction, and Onodera, the swimming club girl. These three are surrounding Miyamoto, who's currently spread out face-down on the floor.

"Miyamoto...Come on, dude. Get off the floor."

"Miyamoto-kun, isn't the floor cold? Please get up."

"Miyamoto, if you don't get up in 30 seconds I'll dump this water bottle on you."

"Onodera-san, you can't just threaten him with water every time..."

"Yeah, Onodera. Actually, where did you even get that water bottle? You just threw one away."

"I keep at least three liters of water on me at all times."

"...Why?"

"Well, after participating in swim club for so long I've just picked up the habit."

If I remember correctly, Hondou and Inogashira were the two who couldn't swim, so Onodera was helping them out. That explains how those three know each other, but what about Miyamoto? And why is he acting so weirdly?

"...ap"

Oh? He speaks!

"Wait, Miyamoto's saying something." Notices Onodera.

"...rap."

"What? We can't hear you, dude."

"...trap."

"Miyamoto-kun, what about traps? What happened?"

Slowly, Miyamoto draws himself up from the floor. He moves to get up but falls back down, and now he's spread out like a starfish staring up at the sky. He takes in a deep breath, then...

"MY FIRST LOVE WAS A GODDAMN CROSSDRESSINGG TRAPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!" He yells at the top of his lungs. They should be thankful no one was around, otherwise that might've been embarrassing.

"Miyamoto, calm down! What if some one hears you?"

Yeah Miyamoto, what if someone hears you.

"Hondou, let's just carry him to his room. You take the right, I'll take the left."

Onodera and Hondou start carrying the screaming Miyamoto on their shoulders.

"WHY ARE YOU SO PRETTY IF YOU'RE A GUY, GOD DAMMIT! YOU EVEN SHOWED UP IN A KIMONOOOOOO!!!!"

"Inogashira, can you shut him up? He's embarrassing all of us."

"Umm... what should I do?"

"You're in the textiles club, right? Maybe just sew his mouth together?"

"Onodera-san, I can't do that!"

What is this, a comedy act?

They attempt to carry Miyamoto all the way back to the dorms but give up halfway and settle for a secluded bench instead. Works for me-this makes it easier to eavesdrop.