Cote: Retelling

Extremely Stupid Idea I had to make into a one-shot

This idea just came to me and it is so brilliant in its extreme stupidity that I just had to do a one-shot on it, even if I never have before and even if that's not what this fic is.

The one-shot is told from Haruka's perspective and is completely separate from the rest of the fic. I know this isn't a one-shot fic, but I just needed to get this idea out.

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You know, I never thought my high school life would ever come to this.

Actually, that's stupid. No one in their right minds would ever think their life would come to this.

I was expecting, at most, some hard tests or weird special exams, considering I somehow got accepted into Tokyo Metropolitan Advanced Nurturing High School, or ANHS for short. But really, it hadn't been all that crazy. Sure, there were some difficult tests and weird students, but otherwise it was just a normal school. There was no special exams, no competition between classes, no weird school hierarchy... Really, all those internet rumours ended up being complete nonsense. Like seriously, a social Darwinist regime? Who even believed in that stuff?

Though, whatever rumour the internet could've come up with... couldn't compete with the reality of my situation right now.

"Um, president... what did you just... eh?" I say, barely able to stammer the words out, hugging the shaking Airi for comfort. What did I just say? Eh? What? I can't even tell.

Wordlessly, the student council president, Horikita Manabu, stands from his seat...

And walks over to the gigantic hologram-head that's displayed in the middle of the room.

Said room, I must mention, we arrived at after a secret button in the student council room turned the whole room into a giant elevator which shot up into space (I'm pretty sure I saw the earth through the window on our way up) and docked into some giant... I don't even know anymore. I'm pretty sure we just got abducted by aliens. Are we on an alien spaceship? I'm pretty sure we're on an alien spaceship. We're on an alien spaceship.

"Manabu, they seem distraught. Are you sure this is the best idea?" Says the giant talking hologram head. I think I'm dreaming.

"This would've had to happen sooner or later, and this provides evidence for my claims."

"Evidence?" I hear Kiyopon whisper from besides me, and I don't think I'm imagining the shock in his voice. I would love to turn and look at whatever shocked expression Kiyopon has right now, because god knows how rare something like that is, but I can't feel my neck right now. Or my legs. Or any part of my body, really. Am I dying? I might be dying.

"P-President, wait, where... where did you bring us, exactly?" Mutters Miyatchi. Honestly, I respect him for even being able to say anything. In fact, he steps forward a little bit, which I find pretty incredible considering what we just went through. In fact, other than Kiyopon, he's the only one standing.

As for Yukimu... I think his legs also gave out. He's spread out on the ground like an starfish, and he's opening and closing his gaping mouth like a carp. I don't blame him, and I'm sure Airi and me look worse than him right now.

At the thought I bring the shaking Airi closer. Whether it's for her or for me I'm not sure, but we both sure as hell need it, even if I'm too shocked to process that properly.

The president turns to us, adjusting his glasses in the most menacing way I have ever seen. "I brought us to a place I hoped would prove I meant what I said."

He reaches for some high-tech looking panel right under the hologram head and types a few things with one hand, after which a compartment opens with a dramatic hiss and a bit of smoke wisps out. He reaches into the compartment and pulls out... something resembling a pair of sunglasses, but I can't help but think they're some evil alien brainwashing device.

"I know you're all in shock, but let's get the disbelief over with. Now, allow me to rephrase what I said."

He takes off his glasses and puts on the weird alien-lens. They look just like normal sunglasses and he honestly looks pretty handsome, but I still feel like they're gonna shoot laser beams or something.

But then, something even worse happens.

"I want you five..."

He pushes his glasses up again, but this time a mechanical voice rings out.

Transformation Sequence: Initiated.

Suddenly, smoke spews out of the glasses, completely enveloping the president within a second.

From within the smoke, I hear sounds like... assembly? Kinda like what I imagine iron man putting on his suit would sound like, or if the venom transformation was mechanical.

"...to become..."

Then, suddenly, a red hand is raised within the smoke and with a wave, a humanoid figure clad completely in red is revealed to us.

What does he look like, you ask?

Within the tumultuous mess my brain is in, some backward corner of my mind makes an observation. The only thing I could compare him to, the only thing I can think of, is...

Transformation Complete:

ID T004396, Horikita Manabu

Registration: Red Ranger

"...the next generation Power Rangers."

And then I black out.

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Ayanokouji group as power rangers.

Wouldn't that be hilarious and stupid?

Somewhat please write that. It would be hilarious. And stupid.

I have reached peak dumbassery.