On The Couch | DRARRY

Chapter 5

"Hahaha! Eileen thinks you should've been a detective?"

For some reason Andy finds the prospect hilarious. I'm almost offended.

"Let me ask you: who was it who told you Draco Malfoy may be having an affair?"

"You only knew because he told you. Real detectives have to unearth corroborating evidence and witnesses."

"Be that as it may, how far have you got with Draco's case?"

Suddenly Andy isn't so jovial anymore.

"Virtually nowhere," he grumbles. "It seems to involve a Secret Keeper or something. Maybe even an Unbreakable Vow."

I stand up and walk over to the window. It's almost the Solstice. It's dark outside and it's not even 4:30! In random moments like these, I like to imagine what my patients are doing. It's Friday, so I'm sure the Malfoys are holding one of their famous dinner parties, although it's too early for the guests to have arrived yet. Is he bathing and getting dressed? Is he in the kitchen instructing the house-elves? Is he sitting in a dark panelled study drinking a glass of sherry? Is he writing an owl to his mystery lover?

"The closest I've come to a lead came from an Auror. He said he and a couple of other Aurors were on duty at the Fine Arts Museum. Remember when that cat burglar was going around stealing stuff? Anyway, he was stationed there, and he told me he went to use the gents and heard a couple having sex in the other stall."

"People shagging in loos is hardly anything to write home about."

"What if one of the shagees is Draco Malfoy?"

I frown. It's impossible for me to imagine the fastidious Draco Malfoy having sex in a public toilet.

"How did this Auror of yours know?"

"Because Malfoy was the only one to walk out of the gents. Looking quite snogged and dishevelled apparently."

"Where was the other bloke? What happened? Did he turn himself invisible or something?"

"My source couldn't say."

I roll my eyes. "Sounds like someone was having you on. I hope you didn't have to do anything more for that nugget of information than buy the bloke a pint."

"Blimey, I thought you'd be pleased that I found anything."

"Could've been a one-off . . ."

"Or it could've been someone he's so hot for he couldn't wait for a more gentile venue."

"Well, let's pretend for a moment that Draco Malfoy really was having sex with someone in a loo, I guess that says something about the man he had sex with . . ."

"He's not a business associate . . ."

"Or someone wealthy and titled."

"In other words, no one who's a member of the Wizengamot."

"Sounds like we're talking about someone relatively down-to-earth."

"The kind of bloke that spends his Friday evenings having a few pints with a group of his mates."

"Did your source say what happened after Draco left the gents?"

"Only that he left the museum immediately."

"Hhhhmmm. I can't just come out and ask him if he's shagging random men in loos."

Andy laughs. "Look, I gotta go. Another client's waiting for me."

I smile and turn away from the window. "And there I was thinking I was your one true client."

Andy's still laughing when he opens the door. "You're the biggest sap I know," he says.