SING ME TO SLEEP, woosan

35

the duvet snuggling wooyoung's body tickles at his chin as he wakes. his head is throbbing — hell, he hasn't even opened his eyes yet — but when he does, and sees the bright decor of yunho's room surrounding him, everything his unconscious self erased from his mind comes back to him.

despite knowing that it's the very least he deserves right now, wooyoung's first thought is to check his phone for the notification he hopes for every morning. his second is how if he had the opportunity to punch himself a black eye, he would take it in a heartbeat.

he couldn't even build up the courage to reply to san last night, instead leaving him on seen on top of everything else he'd caused for him, and yet he still wants his attention?

pathetic, wooyoung thinks. so fucking pathetic.

and of course, his eyes decide to tear up out of misery. he hasn't even shifted from his — yunho's — bed yet, he isn't going to let himself cry.

is it really that big of a deal, anyway?

just because they almost kissed, doesn't change the fact that san is just a friend; wooyoung has many of those. all over the world, all from different areas of his life, all who mean a significant amount to him.

what makes san any different? wooyoung asks himself bitterly, just as his phone chimes from beneath the pillow his head rests upon.

###

sannie
good morning wooyo
i hope u slept well last night
yunho texted me just a bit ago actually
he said ur with him rn
i asked how u were doing but he only avoided the question
worries me a little ngl
i'm never not going to be here for you
just in case u need to hear it
seen

###

"how are you... how are you feeling, wooyoung?"

yunho's voice is coated in the most obnoxious layer of hesitance wooyoung has ever heard. it's his fault, he knows it is, and all it does is make him feel horrible — more than he already does, in fact, which he figures should be a record of some sort.

circling his spoon around his soggy cereal, wooyoung takes a deep breath. but eventually, all he responds with is a shrug of his shoulders.

"that's not really an answer, babe." yunho chuckles nervously.

it's clearer than daylight how hard he's trying to not upset wooyoung this time round, who picks up on his friend's careful mannerisms as easily as he'd give up a mathematical equation. "you don't need to treat me like... like that," wooyoung stresses, eyes on his bowl of food. "i'm fine, yunho."

"you're fine?"

"perfect, even," wooyoung replies, the lie rolling smoothly off his tongue. perhaps he shouldn't have, however.

"who are you trying to fool? 'cause, honestly, i'd love to know right now," yunho says, then he sighs. "wooyoung, i-i just... i know it's hard. i do, and i know you're trying. but lying really isn't helping any of us — especially you. if anything, it's the last thing that's going to help you through this. you have to be honest to yourself, about your thoughts, about your feelings. i understand that it's scary, but—"

"yunho... i-i can't, though. i really can't." wooyoung's voice wobbles, the vulnerability stabbed within it prompting him to shuffle himself further into his seat.