3 years ago
My bags are in front of the door and I search the room for anything that I might have left behind. I fix myself in the mirror and I hide my eyes behind a pair of big black sunglasses.
"Just why, Lixie?!!" His voice was desperate and since hours ago he wouldn't stop crying. My heart was broken into pieces, but there was nothing I could do different.
"My car is waiting downstairs."
"Baby..." He pulls me in a tight embrace. The room is spinning and my breath gets heavy.
"I won't burden you anymore, you have to follow your dream, not to take care of a sick person." I back off and grab my bags with shaky hands. I stumbble while I try to regain my clear vision.
I hear Hyunjin sighing from the top of the stairs but I don't allow myself to look back.
4 years ago
For some time now I've started to have more panic attacks. It happens when we drive far from home, when we're shopping, when we meet our friends. Recently Hyunjin recived an invitation to an important fashion event, where he wished for years to go.
"Lix, we're gonna dress fancy and we're gonna drink champagne all night long." He is singing happily, while throwing different outfits on the bed.
I try to remain silent and don't ruin everything. I was about to say no but when I've seen the happines in his eyes I just couldn't so I smiled.
We put on our fancy clothes. I am wearing a pink suit and Hyunjin is wearing a white one with a cropped shirt. We arrive at the destination after half an hour and we are welcomed by a well dressed lady at the entrance.
"Wow! It's amazing! Look how fancy everything looks!" Hyunjin is amazed and excited. This is the world he dreams to make part of. Flashing lights, blasting music and fancy people.
He gives me a glass of champagne and I drink it fast. I try to ignore my jelly legs by drinking some more glasses of champagne, but after the 5th, I feel the room is spinning around me.
I look for Hyunjin in the room. He is not far, he is just talking with an important fashion figure that is ready to sign him to his agency. He waves to me smiling but I'm not able to make any gesture and then all turns black.
When I open my eyes I recognise our appartment. I look to the ceiling afraid to move my head, to not feel the dizziness again.
"Baby, are you awake?" Hyunjin asks caressing my hair.
"Mmm..." I mutter, afraid to speak because I feel like throwing up.
"Baby, I was scared..."
"What happened?" I ask closing my eyes.
"I was talking to Kai and suddenly I saw you on the ground throwing up then you passed out in my arms."
"I'm sorry I've ruined everything..." I feel so pitty and guilty for being such a burden to him.
"You should have told me, baby, that you were not feeling well." He places kisses all over my face.
"No, Hyunjin. That was such an important night for you and I've ruined it like so many other occasions..." I cry now with my face hidden in the pillow.
"Baby, nothing is more important for me than you."
"It should be... I'm not worthy of you."
His arms are now around me, holding me tight.
"Don't you ever say that again. Nothing will ever be more important to me than your wellbeing. Stop, Lixie, please."
In that moment I've made up my mind. I will never stay in his way again, so he could achieve his dreams and live happily without all my mess. It's not gonna be easy, because I can't think of a minute of my life spent without him, but I need to find the strength. He is everything to me so I will do anything to remove the bad from his life.
And that bad is me.
A/N How do you feel about the story until now? Thank you so much if you reached this part. I love you
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Lonely in gorgeous // Hyunlix
Fanfic~Completed~ So how would you feel to meet your first love, that you ditched 3 years ago, at a school reunion? You thought you've started a new life and put the past aside. Maybe it will turn out good, or maybe everything will go downhill. Find out! ...
