Lonely in gorgeous // Hyunlix

Chapter 11 - Goodbye

I open my eyes and make my way to Bang Chan's kitchen. After last night party we split in two groups and I've decided to sleep at Bang Chan's. He and Innie tried to cheer Hyunjin and also Changbin promissed him to play games on his PS until morning. We said our goodbye in a rush, with a quick peck on the cheek.

The sound of the coffee machine wakes IN up and he joins me in the kitchen.

"Thank you for doing this for me. Here." I hand him a cup of freshly made coffee.

"No worries, Lix. Have you told Hyunjin about today?"

"Not really...I was about to, but he was so happy and I just couldn't say it to his face." I feel like my vision is getting blurry and I take a pill from my pocket.

"It's Ok, Bang Chan already did, but well, I was curious if you did..."

I nod. I was aware that IN is going to tell Bang Chan and he is going to tell the others to lift that pressure off me. Bang Chan steps into the kitchen yawning and sits next to IN.

"Thank you Channie" I tell him.

"Anytime little one. When are we leaving?"

"In an hour."I tell him then I ask shyly with my voice trembling "Are the others coming?"

"No. I told them to distract Hyunjin by playing games all day." He smiles.

I nod. The ideea of not seeing his face today makes everything a little easier. A little.

Hyunjin's pov

"I don't know why you keep hurting yourself." Says Minho while driving.

"Just do me this favour hyung and please, PLEASE drive faster!" I say clenchig my teeth.

"Chill. We are not trying to get a ticket plus Han will message us if IN will text him any change in the itinerary."

I can't keep my feet still and I keep bouncing them back and forth. While I bite the inside of my cheek I try to keep my tears from falling. I knew deep down that this moment is going to come faster then expected. I don't blame Felix for not telling me, he doesn't owe me anything after all. I had no expectations that after just one night together he will let his life behind and come back to me but it doesn't mean that deep down I didn't wish for it every second.

"Chill the fuck out, Hyunjin. Also don't you forget what you've promissed me!" Minho is a little upset by the situation but understands me. He tries to keep it cool and to not take any sides since he is friends with both of us.

"I'm aware of it..."

When we arrive at the airport, the parking lot is almost empty. It's not hard for me to spot Bang Chan's racing car and I grip my hand to the dor's handle.

"Dude, your fingers are getting white, just relax." Minho says while checking his phone for new messages.

After a few moments I see Felix's small body coming out of the car. He wears an all black leather outfit, the same he wore the night we met at the school reunion. His blonde hair is tied in a little ponytail at the back of his head while some strings are loosely hanging around his beautiful face.

In the next moment, Bang Chan spots Minho's car and waves to us.

"Now what?" Minho asks me frustrated.

"Shit."

Everything seems to happen so fast. IN tries to make Felix go faster to the gate while Bang Chan is walking behind them looking at us astonished muttering something. I can read his lips even from the distance and all he says is "Stupid, stupid, stupid".

"You. Stay here."says Minho while smashing the car door furious.

He goes after the three boys. I feel my legs shaking. Tears come up to my eyes and I can't stop them. I have no intention to go after them. I feel broke, left behind and so so stupid. I acuse myself for being so stupid and wait years for him to come back to me. He had no intention to do that in the first place, he made his mind years ago when he left for the first time. I was just so stunned by him to think straight. I realise I made a big mistake and probably Felix feels the same. That night was one of the most beautiful I've ever had, but the memory of it hurts so much, so it means it hurts Felix as well. I sould have acted normal and just chat about our new lives. But how can you think straight when the love of your life appears in front of you so vulnerable and hurt? He means the world to me and I have no intention on ever changing that, but it also means I should let him follow his path, and years ago he decided that he doesn't need me on it.