i will fucking kill you/r - kyle broflovski x reader

me when i when u when i

cw: cringe, gay ppl, n the f slur

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'man.

man...

it's too early for this shit dude',

is the only thing i can think of when i was woken up by what i assume is a shit ton of texts from kyle, yikes.

ig i should actually check my phone now tho bc it's time for school anyway so might aswell,,

i grabbed my phone n turned it on, burning my eyes in the process bc ofc it does that,

n yea i was right, it was just kyle being a mom telling me to wake up n all that junk, man this bitch is-

"yo bro, u should probably wake up soon, ike said he's on his way n he said ur bf is coming w him too", my little brother said, he left my room right after telling me that,, dammit ig i should get ready fr now yea...

~~

yeah uh no i just put on deodorant n brushed my teeth, i did literally jack shit yesterday so i don't even smell that bad, it's finee.

i opened my front door, saw kyle n ike, then i got pushed onto the snow by my brother,

"lol sorry maybe be quicker next time, lame-o", he said as he quickly ran over to ike.

"WHO TF SAYS LAME-O U FUCKING ASS",,

to that he only stuck out his tongue n ran away, dragging ike w him.

"u ok?", kyle ran over to me n helped me up bc he's wonderful like that man i love kyle,

"yea, my face is covered in snow now tho yikes"

"uhhh here dude", he said pulling out a gay ass handkerchief out of his pocket.

"dude wtf that's so gay"

"stfu", he rubs the handkerchief against my face to get rid of the (ngl prolly pissed covered) snow,

"alr ur good now,, aside from the piss"

"nah it's fine i have a piss kink"

"/j?"

"uhhh...anyway let's get going"

"okay??"

kyle puts the gay handkerchief back in his pocket n then we walked to the bus stop,

"hi fags", i see stan waving at us,,

"morning stan", ofc kyle greeted him back bc he's kyle n he's his super gay best friend or smth gay like that yuck

ig we have to wait for the bus, now...

"hey guys", i heard kenny's muffled voice to my left

"hi ken", i replied, idk the others r just kinda there n waving at em, at least they acknowledged kenny tho damn

we all stay silent again, still waiting for the bus n maybe cartman.

i took my hands out of my pocket to play w them but WAIT!! WHAT'S THIS?? I FORGOR MY GLOVES!!

"shit."

"wait is it y/n?", kyle turned his head to me (aswell as the others)

"guys i forgor my gloves u guys"

kenny laughed, stan rolled his eyes,

n kyle just sighed at me

"dude didn't i tell u to NOT forget ur gloves this time?"

"well u were spamming me n i didnt real all of it"

"bruhh, maybe u should rember next time y/n", kenny snickered

"or ur just faking it so u cpuld wear kyle's gloves again like the last time u forgor", kenny also added kinda laughing too.

"man wtf im not gay, n certainly not gay for kyle, kyle is only my mom in this situation ykyk"

"idk bro seems kinda sussy"

"that's not funny, stan", i interrupted bc istg if he says sussy baka im jumping off a cliff.

"dude yk what here just take my gloves bro", kyle offered

"that's fucking gay"

"loOK DO U WANT IT OR NOT?!"

"...i do"

"good, now here, hold up ur hands for me"

"mmmkay", i held up my hands n kyle put his gloves on my hand, man i love physical touch.

"there, r u good now?"

"yes daddy"

"dont."

"okay mommy"

w this kind of flirting, i think kenny n stan feel like third wheels lol,,

then the bussy came, n we all entered it.

~~

idk what im doing w this fic, mainly doing this for me anyway...

i had a dream abt doing this w kyle once so why not turn ot into a fic amen