i will fucking kill you/r - kyle broflovski x reader

when the bussy is sussy

cw: cringe n gay ppl

~~

i entered the bussy n saw that kyle sat w kenny for some reason ngl thought he was gonna sit w his super gay best friend but ig not, the only available spot i see now is next to butters.

butters is cool n all but he's kind of a loser ngl but he's nice, so i went to his seat n ask him,

"hey butters, may i sit w u on this bussy seat please?"

"why uh yes ofc u may y/n!!", butters replied playing w his little paws all nervous n cute like that

i go n sit my fat dumptruck of an ass down n pulled out my phone n my apple airpods pro max lite beta alpha sigma 2.0, i go n play my favourite artist ever 100 geckos.

when the start of gec 2 u start playing, i feel a poke to my right which is weird bc butters was on my left hmm, i turned my head to the right n saw kennothy?!

"pspsps trade seats w me"

"why should i?"

"i sat next to kyle"

"alr, deal"

i got up ofc waving goodbye to butters, im not that ignorant damn. so i went to the back of the bus to sit w my boy kahl.

"hi kiel"

"why...why tf r u here where's kenny i thought he went to go piss"

"kyle this is a bus wym he went to go piss?"

"he's kenny, he probably pees in someones mouth"

"is it bc he's poor? wow that's super elitist of u kyle wtf"

"wha-"

the bussy came to a stop before kyle could finish,

"ALRAIGHT KIEDS, YALL BETTER GYET THE FOWCK OFF MY BUS BEFO I KIECK YALL OUT", the bus driver yelled at us w their thick southern accent

we exited the sussy bussy n went inside the school to our lockers, which is convenient bc my locker was right beside my little jew boy kiyel.

"hey kial"

"y/n, pls dude when r u gonna stop calling me like how cartman calls me, it's getting annoying"

"wow sorry kiyal, i didnt know ur discriminatory against illeterate ppl"

"what?? rnt u like the second smartest kid in our class,,, beside me ofc"

"wow kihl, didnt know u also like to invalidate ppls problems"

"dude istg"

ring ring ring banana alrarm

wow the new school alarm that pc principal installed is rlly good, very hip w the kids these days i think

"mm potassium"

"wtf r u talking abt?", kyle asked bc ofc he doesnt know what potassium is

"yk potassium right kyle? potassium is a chemical element with the symbol K and atomic number 19. Potassium is a silvery-white metal that is soft enough to be cut with a knife with little force. Potassium metal reacts rapidly with atmospheric oxygen to form flaky white potassium peroxide in only seconds of exposure. Wikipedia
Symbol: K
Atomic number: 19
Atomic mass: 39.0983 u
Electron configuration: [Ar] 4s¹
Period: period 4
Group: group 1: hydrogen and alkali metals
Oxidation states: −1, +1 (a strongly basic oxide)"

"yea whatever wikipedia, let's get to class before mr garisson cancel us on twt for being homophobic"

"will do sir!!"

~~

i sat next to kennothy in class bc we make gay jokes together bc we're triggered snowflakes leftists libs

we're basically not paying attention to mr garisson like at all at this point bc idk he's not interesting anyway also where tf is cartman

the classroom door bursts open revealing a fatass named eric cartman.

"GUYS THEY'RE COMING!!!"

~~

foreshadowing:

har har har har har har har har har har har har har har har har har har

;))