Ambivalence [ carlos madrigal x female reader ]

The ceremony

Y/n pov

As we were near the casita Carlos slipped his hand into mine and he walked a bit closer to me then he had been, we got to the casita to be greeted by Camilo who was previously greeting others

"Hey hey hey guys! Welcome home! The ceremony has started- oh and abuela said she wants to see you two!" Camilo exclaimed with a wide grin on his face

Carlos nodded but stopped in his tracks when Camilo pulled me aside,me and Carlos's hands slipping away from each other, Camilo held my hands in his caressing them with his thumbs.

"Hey uh y/n..do you...happen to be dating my brother?..." he whispered to me with an unsure smile as Carlos watched us like a hawk but could not hear us.

"Wha- no not at all never." I said and stuck my tongue out at Carlos who only gave me a soft smile from afar before I gave Camilo a reassuring smile "why do you ask?"

"Oh good...uh no reason,hey later I have to talk to you I'll come get you when the time comes okay?" His smile turned nervous and pink rose to his cheeks

"Wait what-"

"Okay bye have fun!" He then pushed me over to Carlos who grabbed my wrist and dragged me with him into the house leaving me confused

"What'd he say to you?" Carlos asked looking down at me with calmness as we stood off to the side of people

"Oh nothing much,you don't need to worry" I smiled at him and he nodded.

We then walked over to abuela once we saw her "hey abuela what did you need?" I asked her and she looked at me and Carlos with slight disappointment.

She leaned in and spoke in a slight whisper "listen you two better behave today,you were already gone past the time you were supposed to come back earlier. Now I'm not saying you have been misbehaving,you two have surprisingly been behaving well but I'm just saying. Now go run along." She pushed us a little back and gave us a fake smile

We nodded and walked back to where we were,which was by a wall in a darkish corner where no one was.

I leaned against the wall and hugged myself as Carlos stood next to me silently "you know sometimes I think that she doesn't love me.." I said hesitantly breaking the silence and he looked at me

He thought for a moment "well then she must not love me either since she treats me the same."

"Yea but your family...I'm not. I never will be." I sighed and ran a hand through my hair feeling out of place.

Carlos sighed and I felt his hand slither around my waist as he pulled me into a gentle hug,his hugs were always so gentle. In fact whenever he touches me at all he treats me like porcelain,I don't know why.

"You are apart of this family,you always were as soon as we took you in. She loves all of us but she just has a hard time showing it" he said in a soft tone holding me close

"Carlos we are in public what if someone sees.." I backed away a little and looked up at him with annoyance "I'll punch anyone if they try and say anything,you matter more than any of their stupid opinions and rumors."

I smiled at his response but quickly remembered that he didn't truly mean it and it dropped "hey bring that smile back I don't like it when your sad.." he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and re-ajusted the flower that he had placed there before the ceremony,damn he sure was convincing though.

I slowly smiled again and I felt that weird pain type feeling in my stomach again,but it was like a good pain. It had only happened around him and I don't know why....wait it couldn't be..could it? Do I..have f-