IZTIRAAR✔️

33.

SHEHNAAZ

Remembering about Vedant And My Past wasn't easy for me....
It was as if opening all the sutures of a wound which is still healing from past many years.
No I don't love him anymore, But I did once I know.....
Who says Pyaar sirf ek baar ho sakta hai, because if that's the case How could we love our father when we already love our Mother even before coming in this world.

Vedant Was That Chapter of my life who made me what I'm today, BOLD! CONFIDENT! And Also SELF DEPENDENT!
It was him Who made me Realise that society is a fucking looser joh apne banaye hue rules main kisi ko bhi gira sakti hai and the worst part is you don't even have a say in it.

Vedant....
Naam Sunna bhi pasand nhi tha mujhe uss din ke baad se, I don't know Nafrat Ho rahi thi because that was quite obvious for me to go through those emotions, And then that time I questioned Have I actually ever loved him......

LoVe the word I refrained myself from would be a lie, because I do loved Aahnik, Sanchi and Ashu Nidhi all these years and as an addition Now I have Aadia to love as well.
So I never hated the word Love Because that would be a complete fucking lie, A fucking lie that I would just say to satisfy my ego.

Aadia and that brings the most important person in my life....
SIDHARTH.....
mera Sidharth only if I claim him myself, I have never seen a man doing what he did for me always, who was he....
Practically no one few months back and He is that Part of my life that the rules I never broke but was blamed for, I'm now doing it for him....
Live In that is and I don't think there's an issue there.....

" Sana " I could hear Sidharth call me....
It was the same day and we were still in the same position, me hugging him and crying and he just sat there with me in his lap....

Nimisha.... Well I don't know why
I feel bad for her sometimes...
Buri thi ya nhi I am no one to comment on because bura har koi hota hai, at a point of time everyone does something they would regret later on but then that's what human's are, perfection model hi hona hota toh Bhagwaan nhi hote.....

" Vedant And I used to Hang out, Ghar walo se bachkar we used to See movies, Have Dinners, Sab karte the joh ek pyaar main pagal insaan karta ho " I spoke and his hold on me tightened, I would have reacted in a very similar way maybe worst even if I knew He loves me But still it's difficult alright and How would he be feeling because he has no idea or assurance of me loving him only him now.....

" Sidharth " I called him out, Pushing my face out of his neck and looking at his face, Head leaned back on the Bed and his closed eyes but the lines on his forehead expressing how angry he was.

" Sidharth " I called him once again smoothing the lines on his forehead and he opened his eyes looking at me with red eyes and I was afraid to see him like this for the very first time....
Not of him doing something to me... That's not even a case here....
It was more of him doing something to his own self.

" Aage bol kar khatam kar Shehnaaz, isse zyada you being in love with him sun nhi paunga " He muttered and I knew it hurts it really does.

" Main tujhe buri lag rahi hoon That I loved someone else at one point of my life " I asked

" Nice Joke, Tu meri Godh main chadhkar baithi hai and I am letting you, koi insaan mujhe bura lagega aur voh mere saath yeh karega itna bada Chu.... Nhi hoon samjhi " He spoke and I wanted to laugh at him for being such a child at the moment but she knew better not to.