Haze // An Izuru Angst Fic

Chapter Two

In Izuru's hazy, floaty state, he doesn't hear his sweet servant cry out, nor does he hear his frantic footsteps. What he does notice, however, is that all of a sudden he's being held, and his mouth is being forced open.

Izuru's weakening mind only barely feels it when two bony fingers jam their way down his throat, nor does he feel the way his servant gently rubs Izuru's head. If he could think, Izuru might have found it almost pleasant, but all his thoughts were gone. Floating higher, higher, away from him, lulling him into the soft arms of sleep.

The next thing he knows, his body is shaking and convulsing, as he throws up his one chance for peace. He weakly watches himself lose the contents of his stomach, finding pills only barely beginning to dissolve strewn across the tiled floor.

As the convulsions begin to slow and finally stop, his eyelids droop. Somewhere far, far away he hears a voice shouting at him. He feels his body being shaken, and he feels hands on his face. It could have almost been nice, being held like that. He feels himself being pulled in close to the figure holding him. In his hazy state, he doesn't even recognize his sweet, loving servant.

Izuru feels his body cough a few times, before falling still again. So, so tired. So warm. So hazy. So easy to just fall asleep now. Izuru closes his eyes, and he faintly hears the voice cry out again. What's it saying? Izuru can't tell what the far away voice is saying, and even in his hazy state, that's exhilarating. Finally, something Izuru can't do. Finally, evidence of his imperfection. Izuru feels his lips curve upwards into an almost-smile as he gently drifts away.

~-~-~-~-~-~

Izuru feels himself slowly emerge from the haze, drifting back into consciousness ever slowly. The first thing he feels is the bony man holding him in his arms. The second thing he feels is the man's tears on his shoulder.

Izuru slowly opens his eyes, and lazily looks at the one holding him. Ah, of course, it's his loyal servant. His servant's beautiful misty green-gray eyes snap wide open as he looks into Izuru's ruby red ones.

"K-Kamukura!" Servant cries. "You're okay!"

Is he? Izuru wonders idly. What is 'okay'? What is 'Kamukura', even? Is he himself? Is that who he is? It sounds right... But also very wrong.

Izuru doesn't respond, he's not even sure if he can, he just rests his head against his servant's bony chest. Something inside him wants to hold his servant tightly and never let go. He wants to wrap his strong arms around the boy and relish the warmth for eternity. Izuru tries to wrap his arms around the boy, only to find that his arms are now made of lead.

"Kamukura?" The servant calls softly. "Can you say something for me?"

Say something? Izuru could do that. Speaking isn't hard, not for him. Izuru opens his mouth. Wait... huh? That's... odd. Why didn't his jaw move? Izuru tries again. Still, his mouth just won't open.

"Kamukura?" Servant asks again. "Sir? Can you hear me?"

Yes, yes, he could hear him. Izuru just needs his mouth to move; why wouldn't it move?

"Mmh," Izuru hums out in a feeble response. Servant's eyes widen and he smiles hopefully.

"You're awake? You're really awake now?"

"Mmhm..." Izuru hums in response again. Servant's smile widens so much that small tears spring into his eyes.

"Oh, Kamukura, you've had me so worried!" He cries. "You've been unconscious for hours even after I got all the pills out of your system!"

Izuru doesn't respond, he just looks up into the glossy eyes of the beautiful boy holding him. Izuru slowly closes his eyes before lazily opening them again.