the end, again - tom riddle

chapter ten

A/N: This is a shorter chapter but the next should be longer. Thanks for reading.

November 10th, 1951.

There was not a word to describe the intensity of the reflection Mara had on herself that night and the next morning.

Not a word to describe how she critiqued herself and who she was for opening a part of herself she promised to never open again. For opening a door in her mind she had promised herself would stay closed until she took her final breath.

She wasn't upset about who she killed and the means in which they died. She believed Richard Tarvin's death was well deserved and long overdue. She believed that justice had been served by her hands. That he deserved worse than what she did to him.

That being said, Mara was not completely in control of herself last night. She remembers the feeling of lightness intimately, a feeling she got during the war when she was on the Order's side. When she got to punish others in a similar way as she had tonight.

But she also remembered why she promised herself she would close and lock that door. She remembered the slight insanity that settled over her mind after enough time.

She remembered scaring Evangaline one night. Her poor little sister.

Mara had made a rule that she wouldn't visit her sister until the next morning. She'd sworn to herself she wouldn't.

Yet here she was. In the doorway of her sister's room.

She'd long since killed her parents. At least she had been merciful for their deaths. As undeserved as it was.

She was covered in blood from her previous activities. It was matted in her hair, stained across her face, painted on her hands.

But she hadn't seen Eva all day. She missed her little sister with the smile that was so blissfully innocent that Mara couldn't help the slight jealousy that rose in her upon seeing it.

Eva shouldn't have even been awake.

It wasn't her fault. Mara only wanted to take a peek.

But it was her fault. She should have known better. Should have known to wait for the next day. Should have been patient.

Shouldn't have still been under the haze that told her it was okay.

Should have known. Should have known. Should have known.

The words floated aimlessly in the back of her mind as she met the frightened eyes of her little sister.

She was still in her nightgown. The one Pansy had purchased her because she couldn't help but spoiling the sweet little girl. None of Mara's friends could. As the room full of toys attested to.

Wide, frightened eyes quickly ran over Mara in her dirty robes.