And We Go On

Oh boy, it's you

Walking walking and more walking. We had no vehicles so we were stuck trying to get to the next town to call for a pickup on our own. As we’re walking, I just listen to the two of them discuss what just happened. Eight super soldiers. Someone is making a new serum. Where is it coming from? And how did these people get it?
Then we slowly hear a car rumbling along the road. The horn sounds and we see John Walker and his partner in the back of an army car.
“So that didn’t go as planned, huh?” he asks, stopping the car. When the guys don’t stop, he requests the driver to keep going slowly.
“Look, at least we know what we're up against now, huh?” He questions. I mean, yeah, that’s one way to look at it. They all argue back forth. Bucky calls into question what he has done to earn the shield. John tries to explain himself but they just keep arguing. Finally John says, “Look guys it’s 20 miles to the airport. And it looks like your friend here could use some of the stuff in our truck.” He motions to me, noticing my leg. The truck stops, as do Sam and Bucky. They look at each other and finally consent. Sam gets in first, then Bucky helps me into it, and he comes in after me.
Lemar grabs the first aid kit from the front and does what he can, cutting away the torn cloth, disinfecting it, and wrapping it. I grit my teeth and hiss in as he does all this, because man does it sting. No one says anything while he works, and Bucky just makes sure he is as close to me as possible, making sure I knew he was still there.

I should have been more injured because once I was all bandaged up, the arguing began again. I knew how Bucky and Sam felt about these guys. But a nagging part of me said that we were gonna have to somehow work together. Eight super soldiers was a lot for one super soldier, one soldier with wings and, well, me.
“I’m Battlestar. John’s partner.”
“Battlestar?!” Bucky questions Lemar. Oh boy, I can see the anger rising. “Stop the car!” Bucky yells. The car slowly pulls over and stops. Bucky lets himself out of the car then turns around to help me out. I’m able to walk enough to follow him a little ways away, and then seeing I'm still struggling, he briskly picks me up bridal style and carries me away.
I have a love hate relationship with him doing this. But I guess now is not the time to be picky.
I hear John yelling apologies, and hear him and Sam talking. I hear Sam say, “It’s always that last line.” and he gets out of the truck too, following us.
__________
We walked away enough that the plane was able to come pick us up. The back of the carrier was darkly lit and I laid down on the bench, head close to Sam’s as he did the same. Bucky sat on a cargo box in the middle of the aircraft. I laid there, feeling my body throb as more of the aches and pains settled in. And the area where I was hurt stung like a…well…something bad. I just laid there and listened to the two of them talk. I could hear and feel how dejected they were.
Talking about taking the shield for themselves? Yeah, Bucky knew how that went for us the last time. And for Sharon, who was god knows where now, after being exiled. Sam says he feels like they’ve got nothing as he sits up and looks at Bucky.
“That’s not exactly true.” I hear him slide off the cargo and come to sit in between where me and Sam are. He looks at Sam and says, “There’s someone I want you to meet.”
____
Bucky and Sam said they had to go on their own. I knew from the tone that this was a really sensitive item. I nodded in understanding and decided to head to a doctor to get better patched up. Some heavy duty bandages and a metal knee brace to wear for a few days to take some of the pressure off. At least now I could keep going easier.
I swear though, I can’t leave either of those two alone. Not long after I finish I get a call from Sam, saying that Bucky has been arrested. I guess during our fun little outing he missed his therapy. I groan to myself. I feel partially responsible because I started all this with leaving. I quickly make my way down to the station and find Sam sitting in the waiting room.
We are there for a little while and then a woman comes up.
“Sam, I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m Dr. Raynor. I’m James’s therapist.” She says and holds out her hand, shaking Sam’s. She then looks at me.
“I don’t know that I’ve heard anything about you.” Okay, ouch.
“I’m, well, I don’t really know what I am anymore. But me and Bucky are really close.” Is all I manage to answer.
“Thank you so much for getting him out.”
“That was not me.” she replied.
“Christina!” I hear a voice yell and look to see John and Lemar again. They obviously know each other. John says Bucky is too valuable. He’s signing a release for Bucky to not come on a consistent schedule. The nerve of that guy. Who’s he to say that? I glare annoyed at John as he leaves. I turn around and see Bucky coming out of a side room. He looks at me, runs me over with his gaze, assessing how I look with the extra hardware on. Then Christina walks up to him.
“James, condition of your release, session now. You too, Sam.” She motions to them. She pauses on me, then adds, “And you too, but no talking, just listen.” She adds. I give her a slightly surprised look but follow all of them into the room. She sits on the far side and the two sit side by side, and I stand at the back of the room, their backs to me.

They seem to get nowhere, and then the doctor commands them to do the soul gazing exercise. I can’t help but snicker silently to myself as I watch the two of them joke around and attempt to get close enough to each other to do this. I roll my eyes as this seems to be going nowhere too. Then the therapist finally gets something out of them.
“Why did you give up the shield Sam?” Bucky finally asks.
“Why are you making such a big deal out of something that has nothing to do with you?” Sam asks exasperated.
“Steve believed in you. He trusted you. He gave you that shield for a reason. That shield, that is…that is everything he stood for. That is his legacy. He gave you that shield, and you threw it away like it was nothing. So maybe he was wrong about you. And if he was wrong about you, then was wrong about me.” Bucky finally finishes, his voice shaking.
I feel my heart squeeze in an ache for him. I never really realized what it all had meant to him. Why he had been so shut out and distant. That still didn’t give him a pass of not talking about me to his therapist, but then again, I guess he had other priorities.
“Can you accept that I did what I thought was right?” Sam questions. Bucky doesn’t answer and just looks down. Sam gets fed up and storms out. I watch him go and then look at Bucky. We meet our gazes, and I try to convey what I’m feeling. Sadness. Hurt. Sympathy. Love.
Then I turn on my heel and walk away, hearing him sigh. I catch up with Sam outside and Bucky joins us not long after.

When we go outside, Lemar and John are there. There is a long conversation about information, what the next steps are, and working together. And then of course it ends with none of that happening. John simply threatens us to stay the hell out of his way.
“So you’re just gonna go sit in a room with him?” Sam questions Bucky as we are all walking down the sidewalk. Zemo. Bucky plans to try to question him to try to get more leads. Bucky seems nervous. I reach down to take his hand, and give it a gentle squeeze of reassurance. Sam pauses for a moment and then agrees, “We’re going to see Zemo.”