And We Go On

As the world caves in

We were fortunate enough to have rooms given to us to use for the night so we all went together the next morning. But, of course, it seemed again that no one except Sam knew about me and Bucky because they gave us three rooms. I didn't even bother to correct them. I simply took my stuff to my room, let my bag land with a thud on the floor, and walked over to collapse on the bed.

It felt like I laid there for hours until I heard a knock at the door. Puzzled, I got up and opened it to find Bucky standing there with a single flower in his hand.
"Here I got this for..uh..you." he was so adorable when he was nervous. I take it and admire it, then smile at him.
"I guess that's enough to warrant you at least coming in." I tease him and move to the side so he can get past me. I close the door and go to put the flower in a spare cup in the room with water. He finds a seat on the bed and I stand against the wall, my arms crossed over my chest.
"So now I have to ask, why the flower?" I said mostly joking but also curious.
"I know I did something wrong and that I need to apologize for it. And although I'm not entirely sure what it all is, I need you to know how much I care for you." 
I let out a little sigh. I wasn't even mad anymore. But part of me knew I had to get it out there. And he looked so scared, being so vulnerable.
"You want me to be totally honest with you?" I question, making sure he's ready. He nods his head.
"Look, I know there is not much I can do in the way of helping with your nightmares. But I always do my best. And I try to support you with all these side missions you go on. All the time away you take to go to lunch with people and everything like that. I just feel like none of that was enough for you though. I leave suddenly with no notice and you don't try to find me or reach me. You wait till almost 24 hours goes by before you look for me. I find out you went on some kind of date with another girl at a bar and your therapist has no idea who I am. Heck even the people who booked our rooms didn't know because they gave us separate rooms. I just feel like while we're all trying to get back to a normal life, you're keeping me at a distance. Like you don't want me in your new normal life." My voice gets quieter as I go and I have to swallow down my voice threatening to break.
We just stare at each other for a while, and he doesn't say anything. I can feel the tears threatening to come now and I can't bear to look at him.
"If you're not gonna say anything, then please just leave." I finally say.  Even though I am not facing him, I hear him get up and walk over to me. I hope that he'll hug me, kiss me, or say anything. Instead he just walks out my door.
I stare bewildered at the door and then the tears  let out. I cry so hard and just lay in bed till fall asleep from exhaustion at some point.
________
The next morning went by in the blur. I didn't dare even look at Bucky, I was still too hurt. Sam noticed, but thankfully he never asked. We hopped on a flight via our army buddies and got to Munich, again. We then took a car to the prison and were escorted to Zemos' door.
Bucky insisted he'd go alone. They had a history and he was going to use it to his advantage. We finally agreed, so Sam and I waited outside.
While we waited, Sam finally took the opportunity to ask what was going on.
"I honestly wish I knew Sam" I responded.
"Do you still love him?" A very blunt question.
"Yes, always."
"And you still see colors? Seems like he's still your soulmate?"
"Yes."
"Then things will work out. No one ever said it'd be a perfect relationship being soulmates with someone. They all take work. Just don't give up." He gives me a reassuring smile. I stare and then smile wide.
"My my Sam Wilson. When did you become such a therapist?" I joked with him. He just laughed a little.
________
"What do you mean you wanna break Zemo out of jail? Are you crazy? And where the hell are we?" Sam insists while all three of us walk into a dark car garage, pointing our flashlights to find our way.
"We have no leads, no moves, nothing"
"Yeah but what we do have is one of the world's most dangerous men behind bars."
"And we also have 8 super soldiers that are loose."
As we make our way through, Sam is freaking out a little. Honestly, I am too.
"Zemos gonna mess with our minds. Especially yours. No offense."
Bucky finally finds the switch and turns all the lights on for the building. We switch our flashlights off as he replies, "Offense"
"Super soldiers go against everything he believes in. He is crazy, but he still has a code."
"I've been on the wrong side of that code Bucky and so have you. He blew up the UN, killed King t'chaka, and blamed you for it!" Bucky looks to me, looking for some sort of backup. I have nothing to give him on this.
"Did you forget that? You think the Wakandans forgot about that? That's a rhetorical question, they didn't."
None of us did. Sam and I were with Steve when all that happened.
"I know why this matters to you, but it's pushing you off the deep end."
"Sam, we don't know how they're getting the serum. We also don't even know how many of them there are." Bucky pauses as I see Sam struggling with it. I stand silently, because I don't know how I feel. I've seen both sides. I was here those five years, with Bucky was gone. I experienced both sides, so part of me understood these rebels. But I also agree the serum should have ended with Steve and Bucky.
"Let me walk you through a hypothetical…" Bucky starts. He goes into extensive detail of how Zemo might be able to break out of jail.
Before I know it, there is a shadow walking towards us and as it steps through we find it's Zemo. I'm shocked. Bucky just went ahead and did it. No consulting us, no okay with us, nothing. He was just here.
Sam was so mad.
"Listen, when Steve didn't sign the sokovia accords, you backed him. You broke the law and stuck your neck out for me." He paused and looked at me, acknowledging I did as well. "I'm asking you to do it again." Bucky finished, lending the final okay to Sam.
Sam finally agreed, although begrudgingly. He tells Zemo that he's not to make a move without their permission. He agrees that that is fair.
"Okay Zemo. So where do we start?"