Heaven // NASCAR Oneshots

Just Breathe // Chase Elliott

TW: Death & Panic Attacks

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My eyes filled with tears as I watched from the corner of the hospital room as my patient was unhooked from the ventilator. A soft white sheet was placed gently on the body, covering him from prying eyes as they rolled him to the morgue.

This was the second patient of mine that I lost to Covid this week, and it was only Monday. I walked out of the room sullen and down as the Chaplain walked by with his support team, heading to the family room where they awaited the horrible news.

I tried to take a deep breath but I couldn't, the events of the last few months catching up to me in a way that I just couldn't handle anymore. I felt tightness in my chest as the tears I'd been holding back gave way. I began to shake and cry and I had to get alone so no one saw me.

An empty closet was my saving grace. I locked the door and shakily pulled out my phone and called the one person who could calm me down.

"Babe? What's wrong?" He knew, and that's why I loved him so much. Chase was my anchor in the midst of my storms.

"I lost another one," I whispered, my willpower crumbling as my back hit the door and I slid down to the floor, holding myself so tightly.

"Love, I'm so sorry. Do you want to tell me about them?" I cried softly, nodding my head no as he could see me, but he knew, he always knew. "They were lucky to have you by their side, I know how much love and support they got from you."

"I know," I cried, "it's just so hard. I'm all they have since they can't have visitors."

"The fact that they even have you, is more than no one. You love your patients and show that to them. You always have a smile on your face when they need one and always make sure they're okay even when things aren't. Babe, you're more than enough and I know it's hard when you lose someone you've so desperately tried to save." I knew what he wasn't saying, that I can't save them all. The reality of that is hard to swallow.

My profession is to save lives, not let them slip between the cracks.

"I love you," I whispered, wiping away my tears, letting out a sigh. "You always know what to say to bring me back."

"I'll move heaven and hell for you." I smiled, wishing I could feel his strong arms around me. "I love you, okay? I know I can't be there when you get home from your shift, but call me, okay? I don't care what time it is."

"Thank you, Chase." I hummed, hanging up the phone and giving myself to compose before I got back up and proceeded to finish out my shift.

**

The next few hours of my shift ended just as badly as it started. We lost two more patients and enough was enough.

I was so exhausted; mentally, physically that I drove on autopilot, not even realizing I was home until the garage door closed behind me. Like the zombie, I felt, I moved towards the door, not even bothering to carry in my tote bag full of stuff that needed to be washed and taken care of. I didn't care about anything except for a hot shower, my bed, and my fiancé who was away on business.

I walked through the dark kitchen, not even bothering to turn on the lights even though my stomach growled. I'll eat tomorrow. I decided, going straight to my bedroom. I flicked on the light and froze when I saw the array of rose petals all over my floor and on my bed with a heart.

I followed the trail of petals to my bathroom and gasped when I saw candles flickering in the dark, my bath full of bubbles with steam rising in the cool air.

"I figured this would make you feel better." I jumped at Chase's deep voice and turned around to see him holding a bottle of my favorite wine and a bag from my favorite sushi place.

"Chase," I sighed, wrapping my arms around his neck and bringing him down for a soft kiss. "I thought you were still out of state? What happened?"

"I knew I couldn't let you come home to an empty house. I hopped on my plane the moment I hung up. I had to see you." He breathed those last words against my lips, set down the stuff on the bathroom counter, and wrapped his arms around my waist. "My baby girl, I told you I'd move heaven and hell for you."

Chase kissed me then, kissing all of my fears away, my heartache that was threatening to tear out of my chest in a panic rage. He kissed my tears away as they streamed down my cheeks and then back to my lips where he stole my breath away.

"Let's get you undressed and into the hot tub." He helped me get undressed and lowered me gently into the hot water. I let out a soft breath as the heat went to my sore muscles. I leaned forward as Chase got in behind me and began to automatically wash my back.

I closed my eyes as Chase whispered nothing but loving words into my ear, the softness of his voice going straight to my soul that was clinging to every word. I finally felt human again when he was washing the soap out of my hair and encouraged me to lean back onto his strong chest.

"I'm never going to let you go, okay baby? No matter where I am in the world, if you need me, I'll be there." New tears were running down my cheeks now, not because I was sad, but because I got so lucky to call this man mine.

"I love you, Chase." I pulled his hand up from the water and kissed his palm. "I'll love you until the sun falls from the sky."

"And I'll love you until there's no more stars in the sky."

"Forever and always.