Bite Shift

78

The feeling of walking through a dream continued when I descended those great stairs. The girl that has walked down those stairs after meeting Sorin for the first had gone through too much to remain the same. She had been naïve and unable to accept her new condition. She had thought she would solve some murders and return to "life as usual". The woman who walked down the stairs now knew that those had been the dreams of a child.

Life would never go back to the way it had been when I was human.

The house was quiet. Has anyone else risen?

I stepped into the kitchen and faced Rhys. He was sitting on a stool, glass of untouched blood in front of him, and head in his hands. I froze. I didn't know what to say to him. I wanted to turn and run, take the coward's way out. I had the impulse to drop to my knees and beg him to forgive me.

He had shown me more kindness than anyone ever had. In this short time, he had become my mother, my father, my best friend and confidant. I loved him in a way that I think most children love their parents. But those children had never felt the fist of a mother or the abandonment of a father. I didn't know what to do with this love but I knew I had risked it all when I let someone convince me that he was my attacker.

I didn't deserve this man's affection. I had taken his gift to me and used it to betray him. I risked losing what we had been. I had to face the fact that I may have lost another parent.

Maybe I had been the problem all along. Maybe my parents had not loved me because I didn't deserve it. Maybe Tom had stopped loving me because I was unlovable.

It was too much. I had to run. The look in Sorin's eyes. The tenderness in the bathtub. The kindness Rhys had shown me. It was too much.

I turned to slip out of the kitchen. "Katie?"

I froze. He had seen me. I had to face him. He deserved whatever he wanted to say to me and I needed to take it. It could prepare me for what Monica would say to me later. If it was harsh enough, I could shut myself down and stop feeling. I could build up a wall and stay safe inside.

I turned and he was standing. I had braced myself to see anger or hurt in his eyes. But, I saw hope. He looked hopeful. "Are you okay? You look very pretty."

"Yes. Thank you." I said. "Are you okay?" The tears that had built up in the hallway couldn't be held back any longer and spilled down my cheeks.

"I am." He stared at me for a beat and then pulled out the stool next to his. "Please come eat."

I slowly walked to the stool, afraid of what he may say next. "You need to eat, Rhys. You lost so much blood."

"I did, when I got back this morning. I was just about to have some more." He walked to the warming unit and pulled open the large door. It made a whooshing noise when the door was pulled away from the seal and then a slapping sound when it was shut. He set a pitcher in front of me and slid over an empty glass from the edge of the counter. I poured the blood, happy for a task. He sat and I took my first big gulp. I was hungry and the glass was finished before I knew it. I poured a second glass and stared at it, reticent to look over at my sire. I heard him drinking and figure he was trying to buy some time, too.

"I don't know what to say." My voice broke the silence.

"Me either," he echoed.

I took in a deep breath and let it out. "I really fucked this up, Rhys."

"What do you mean?"