Bite Shift

1.

I am like so many women you pass every day. You've seen me in the produce section, staring at a pineapple pretending like I know how to tell if it's ripe. You've seen me walking into a fitting room, hoping this pair of jeans won't make me look like a whale. I'm usually in scrubs since I am a nurse for 40 to 80 hours a week. I am divorced. I live 30 miles from the house I grew up in. I have two teenage daughters. Oh, yeah, and I am a vampire.

I know, you think I am crazy, right? I can assure you I am not. I am a real life, totally dead, straight out of a movie, vampire. For the sake of honesty, I am a pretty new vampire; six months today come to think of it, but a vampire none the less.

I am getting ahead of myself. Let me go back.

My name is Kate. I am 39 years old. My daughters are Olivia and Ellie. They are 14 and 12. If you think the undead are scary try two hormonal teens.

I have been a registered nurse for ten years and every one of those years I have worked at the same Pittsburgh hospital. It's small but I love the people and you can't beat the 15-minute commute. My ex-husband lives four houses down from us. Everyone thinks that would be horrible but it works for us. He is a good person; we were just a terrible couple. He's remarried to the perfect spouse for him. Having them down the street means the kids can have both parents in their lives without disrupting their school or missing their friends.

So, those are the basics. I'm sure that's not what you want to know. Don't worry, I am getting to the good stuff. Despite being on this Earth for almost four decades, the real story begins six months ago, a week and a half before my birthday, and the last day I would be alive. It's funny when your whole life changes and you look back. All the things that seemed so important: mortgage, college funds, if I should get a boob job and whether or not I would share my bed with a man again... now feel insignificant and utterly ridiculous. I don't care anymore if my boobs sag. I just don't want the wrong people to find out what I am and drag me outside to meet the sun or lock me in a lab for testing.

Being a vampire isn't what you think it is. First off, I do not exude sexual prowess and mesmerize beautiful people with my gaze. I can see my reflection in the mirror, can eat garlic and can't turn into a bat... trust me, I tried. Crosses don't repel me. Churches don't repulse me. I will not burst into flames when sunlight touches me... that takes about 20 minutes of full exposure, then you can use me to cook your steaks. That being said, the sun being up does make me sicker than the worst hangover and the most debilitating migraine you've ever had with some kicks to the stomach thrown in. It is hard to even think straight by the time Good Morning America is on. Your best bet is to give into the whole dusk to dawn thing.

Of course, there are upsides. I will never age, never get the flu, never have a period and I have never looked better. All my split ends, grey roots, wrinkles, scars and sun spots disappeared when I turned. The workout DVDs were thrown away since I will never gain a pound. Unfortunately, it also means the last 15 pounds will never go away either. Okay, let's be honest, it's more like 20 pounds. All my back pain, knee aches, plantar fasciitis and shin splints are gone. I feel like I could run a marathon, swim the ocean and lift a car. Sounds perfect, right? You are thinking you need to cancel that gym membership and know where the vampire signup sheet is immediately. Hold that thought. I will also never lay on a tropical beach under the sun again; never watch my daughters swim and play again. I'll miss their softball games, their matinee plays, their graduations and the birth of their children. Don't forget, I will also watch them age, fight disease, take their last breathes and visit their graves.

Still want to join this party?

The truth is, I didn't have a choice. The person who turned me, did it to save me. It was the heat of the moment and they reacted. Looking back, I still don't know if I would have chosen differently if I knew then what I know now. Who knows how they will react when it really happens? Everything moves so fast and so slow when your life comes to an end. It doesn't matter now because the choice was made and it can't be taken back. I am a vampire. I just have to get used to it.

As far as my kids and everyone else knows, I have developed a rare condition that makes me allergic to the sun called solar urticaria. It just takes a few reports and test results for everyone to believe it. I am on permanent night shift and the girls spend daylight hours with their dad. It keeps people from asking questions or giving me a hard time about not going out. Eventually, it will get a little suspicious that I am not getting older but I have a plan. I am going back to school online. I am working on my Masters in the Science of Nursing with a focus on Education, so I can start teaching online nursing classes. I can leave the hospital and buy myself a few decades of making money without raising any eyebrows.

So, I've got the whole "life" thing under control for now. Time to focus on the whole "death" thing next. I still have a lot to learn about being a vampire. The master and my maker have been teaching me some things, when we have time. Yeesh. Still getting used to using words like "maker" and "master".

To be honest I have all the time in the world now. Damn, it's a little hard to accept the fact that this is a journal of my life, and not some fiction I made up.

Alright, I am sure you want to get to the good stuff. The big moment, right? You want to hear how I died, how I was turned and what it was like. The juicy bits of the story.

You guys are sick.