Seoulstruck (Stray Kids, 18+)

Chapter 26: Only Look at Me

Chan had invited Felix out for lunch the next day, it being his only moment he'd have to spend time with the fellow Aussie for a while. They met at a pizzeria not too far from the production building, grabbing a couple slices each and sitting at the window. Speaking English and eating pizza felt like home to both of them.

"How have you been?" Felix asked, noticing the dark circles developing under the producer's eyes. Chan sighed, smiling widely. "Oh, exhausted," he said with a laugh. "But I'm doing ok. The new album is coming along well, we're just doing a lot of promotional material for it. I think they need me to add one more song and then they'll finally go to print." Felix's face lit up. "That's amazing! I'll be sure to buy multiple copies!" Chan could feel himself blush. "I'll sign every one of them," he promised. "I heard your friend is going to be joining our company, soon."

Felix nodded, covering his mouth as he spoke, having just taken a bite of a meat lovers slice. "He is, he's really excited. Hyunjin got him the job. Maybe you two will work together!" Chan nodded. "I'd love to have him on a track of my own, but I'm not sure who will be doing most of the producing while I'm busy, to be honest." He looked down at the sidewalk, thinking it over. "Felix? Did you ever..." He stopped himself, looking the other Aussie man in the eye. "If you could visit anywhere else in the world, where would you go?"

Felix looked up in contemplation. "Maybeee the states? Or Paris, France? Anywhere with a lot of really delicious food." Chan laughed. "I should have known. You have such a nice body for someone who's around sweets, all day." Felix nodded. "I have trouble gaining weight. I even lost the rest of the baby fat in my cheeks since I moved here. But I love chocolate. I make amazing brownies." Chan smiled, raising an eyebrow. "Did you ever consider becoming an idol?" The ray of sunshine shook his head. "No, my voice is... well, it's unique, but I don't think I'm that good at singing. Plus my Korean is still fairly fresh. It might be fun to be in a recording booth, but to be honest, I think I'd make a better backup dancer." Chan cocked his head. "Do you dance?" Felix shrugged, his head bobbing side to side. "I like to learn girl group dances," he admitted. "They're a big guilty pleasure of mine. They're so cute."

You're cute, Chan thought, thinking it suited the man's personality. "Well, maybe we'll have to see about that booth, sometime." Felix laughed, playfully slapping Chan's bicep. They talked over finishing their pizza, Chan's cheeks hurting from smiling so much, Felix having become such a source of joy for him. When they finished, they continued their conversation on the walk back to the production building, Chan looking up and sighing at it when they arrived. He turned around, reaching out and taking the fellow Aussie's hand.

"Felix... I have something I want to tell you, and... for a while, I wasn't sure I should, but I think it's now or never." The freckled man tilted his head, Chan's hands warm and comforting, it felt romantic. Butterflies swirled in his stomach, which worried him, but the ray of sunshine simply smiled. "You can tell me anything," he said, supportively.

Chan swallowed, looking sincerely into Felix's eyes, doing his best not to get lost in them as he spoke. "Truthfully, since we met, I've been able to handle... life so much better. You make every day I spend with you brighter and I haven't been able to stop thinking about you and I don't want that light to ever leave my life, so... Felix... I just wanted to say, I li--"

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Felix's wrist was snatched away, someone cutting between the pair, pulling the freckled man behind them as they ran. "Changbinnie?" Felix looked back at a bewildered Chan, watching the ray of sunshine be ripped away from him. The man rushed down the block and around the corner of the building, pushing Felix against the wall. Felix's heart slammed in his chest, Changbin closing in on him kabedon style.

"Changbin, what--" The rapper held Felix's face, pressing their lips together, the Aussie man's eyes wide with shock. His entire body buzzed, an electric current flowing between them. Changbin's knee touched the wall between his legs, pinning him in place, the man enveloping around him. Felix fell into it, closing his eyes and wrapping his arms around the man's shoulders, relief washing over him. I'm sorry, Channie, he thought, but this, what he had with Changbin, felt more right than anything in the world. After a moment, the rapper finally pulled back, still holding Felix against the wall.

"I love you, too, Yongbokkie," he said. "Please... only look at me."