Our Wildhearts (James McVey, The Vamps)

Don't Leave Me

It's the next morning and I wake up alone in my dad's old bed. The pillow is stained with black patches from when I was crying last night after speaking to Connor and my mascara had smudged due to the tears.

*flashback*

"Did he...rape you?" Connor asked cautiously and I looked up at him tears brimmed in my eyes.

"...yes." I replied my voice cracked.

"De...I...I...I'm so sorry..." Connor reaches out to place a hand on my back but he stops and puts it back by his side.

"Kiss me." I blurted not taking a moment to think about it.

"What?" He looked into my eyes with his blue ones and I stared back at him in silence before I repeated it a little softer...

"Kiss me."

"Okay..." Connor leant in and I met him half way. We shared another kiss like before and it was beautiful almost sensational but I love James. My eyes shot open and I pushed myself away. Connor looked at me for a second before he looked away and started fidgeting.

"I'm sorry Connor, I don't know why I did that."

"Yeah me too." he sounded disappointed as he stood up and headed for the door. I jumped off the bed and caught his hand before he opened it.

"Connor, please understand?"

He didn't look at me but stared at my hand as I held his wrist. "Okay..."

"I love James and I can't live without him, you've seen it but there's a special place for you in my heart," I got mad that he still was't looking at me, "Connor, look at me!" He reluctantly shifted to look at me, his eyes were full of swirling emotions, and I took his hand in mine. "I never wanted to hurt you, honestly I didn't and I mean this when I say it, Connor, if I never met James, I would be with you." I went on my tip toes and gently kissed Connor's cheek before I felt his hand slip away and the door was swung open. However I didn't hear Connor's footsteps on the wooden stairs but I refused to look up froze in fear.

"No, I'm not letting you go," I snapped my head up and looked Connor in the eyes tears blazing down my cheeks. "not without a fight!" Connor walked towards me and took my face in both his hands. His lips crashed onto mine and they moved perfectly in-sync. That kiss was full of passion and lust as we begged for each other's embrace. I felt Connor's weight shift but he never removed his lips from mine and then the door clicked shut again. The warmth of Connor's hands remained even when he wrapped his arms around my waist pulling my torso close to his. He lay me down on my bed before he held his body over mine.

As the kiss kept deepening I realised what was happening so my eyes shot open and I pushed Connor off of me. I got up and before I reached the door I looked back at him, he looked so hurt almost destroyed but if James found out it would be so much worse. Quickly before anything else could happen I left my room and slipped into my dad's room. There I lay while I listened to the others laugh as they played their card game and I would've joined them but I felt like seeing James would only upset me.

I eventually dozed off and now I am still here in my dad's bed with mascara down my face and a banging headache. Guess I drank more than I thought and now I'm stuck with a hangover, great. Then comes a soft knock at the door and Connor pops his head around the door. I look at him and smile weakly attempting to reassure both him and myself.

"De it's okay. You shouldn't feel bad it was my fault."

"No Connor we both played a part in this...how are we going to tell James?"

"You sure you want to tell him?"

"I can't lie to him he'll notice something's up and ask me about it or I'll feel bad and then tell him about it."