This Isn't Real

Chapter Four

Upon returning to my home the next few days went by pretty quickly with all of the funeral plans added onto the fact that I was packing away my entire life in order to move in with William and his to-be family. It was overwhelming, and I would be lying if I said that I hadn't shed an ungodly amount of tears throughout all of the hours of everyday. That wasn't to say that William wasn't a nice distraction as I took the time that I wasn't crying, or dissociating to get to actually know him rather than merely going off of the information that I already knew from the movies; which was very little. As for the funeral plans, he originally stated that he didn't want to impose as he didn't even know my parents. However I had practically pleaded for his help through an embarrassing amount of tears when it all became too much for me. Thankfully he didn't argue over it, and instead graciously began helping me sort through all of the details needed to bury Mom and Dad. 

As well as packing up all of my belongings, I was also in charge of packing away all of my parent's things into boxes that I would have to move into storage. I obviously couldn't take most of it with me, but there were some things that I couldn't bring myself to stuff into a dark, tucked away space that I probably won't touch again for a very long time. It wasn't as if I had a lot of things that I truly needed to take with me anyway as I was pretty neat of a person. Therefore an extra box of sentimental items wasn't a big deal.

Thankfully Will left all of the packing to me for a couple reasons. First because I cried way too damn much even in my own opinion. Secondly, and more importantly, I had a lot of Transformers merch that I didn't want him to see. I doubted greatly that he would even know what the symbols were at this time, but that wasn't a round of questioning that I wanted to endure quite yet. I didn't plan on getting rid of any of it so I was certain the interrogation would happen sooner or later, but that was okay. I was assuming I will be more prepared for it when that time came. 

Unlike being prepared for what today would bring. Already as I stared at my reflection I knew that no amount of makeup would help in disguising my puffy, red-rimmed eyes. Even after days of crying I somehow still found it possible to shed more tears. It didn't help that every time I looked myself over that fresh tears replaced the ones I finally managed to dry up. I never wore so much black in my life, and I never thought I would have to wear it for my parent's so soon. I even had to go out and shop for this outfit. I had to go out and buy clothes specifically for my parent's funeral...how fucked up was that? 

A sudden knock against my closed bedroom door jolted me out of my spiraling thoughts. I sniffled as I quickly raised my hands to wipe at my tear-stained cheeks. I couldn't even bother putting on makeup. What was the point? 

"Ellie? Are you ready?" Will's voice called gently through the door. He was not good at hiding his sympathetic tone that clearly was coming from his pity for me. 

"Uh.." I cleared my throat weakly, forcing a calming deep breath through my lungs before responding in hopes that it would help in leveling out my voice. "Yeah...I'll be down in just a minute!" I called back after only a moment. 

I stood still in the deafening silence of my room as I listened to his footsteps disappear back down the hallway, and it was only when I was left completely alone once more that I felt the crushing grief punch me straight in the gut all over again. It took great strength to keep myself remaining on my feet as I hugged myself as tight as I wish my mom could right now, a strangled sob ripping from my throat. 

It turned out to be several more minutes in fact before I was able to finally make my way out of my bedroom, and down the stairs where Will was waiting rather patiently for me. Upon entering his line of sight from where he was waiting by the front door I noticed the way he seemed to look my outfit over. In any other circumstance I would have gladly accepted any compliments, but was thankful when all he did was offer me a small smile.