Loving is such a weird human concept. You can either love someone or you can hate them.
There's no in-between except apathy and when you reach that level of indifference it means that you don't care.
I cared, I really cared about them. I cared about...
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𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈 - Déjà vu
"Asshole, you want us to let her go again, knowing that this lunatic is still out there?" Luca's voice made the air around me shiver.
Without me even noticing, got on my feet and walked near the door, listening to their conversation. My eyes were still puffy from my nap and my legs weak from not moving for hours.
"Are y'all just out of your minds? How do you think Gray will react when he gets back and finds out that she's here? Again." I could sense the worry in Tyler's voice. He missed his brother and he wanted to protect him, even if he was the youngest.
"Anyway, she might not want to stay, and this conversation would've been useless." Added Aaron.
"We can't just let her go after what happened. I heard something on the TV the other day saying that people who live or lived violence are at greater risk to have depression, anxiety, sleeping problems, or --killing themselves. It doesn't mean it excused everything that happened, but still, we have known her forever." Said Theo before he sighs and sits on the counter.
I am not depressed, and I'm certainly not about to kill myself.
"Are we doing this?"
"I don't want my mama to kill me if she ever finds out I've been trash with Lexi. I have too much respect for women." Said Luca with his Italian accent.
I hold my laugh as I walk back to the couch, running my hand through my hair; too many thoughts were crashing inside it and it gave me a headache.
I laid back on the couch, pulling the blanket back over myself. I sigh as I inhaled the smell of male cologne that was sticking to the fabric.
I don't know why it was a relief for me to just realize there was no female perfume or product in the house. I think it would've been too weird for me to just look at her.
Anyways it's not like you still like them --not any of them.
Through the years, I realized that part of that affection that I thought I had for them was mostly just due to the fact that my teenage hormones were commanding my feelings and not my brain.
I hadn't realized some of these feelings were only about desire --I had a lack of experience in life and love was a new concept for me --at least now I know that I wasn't really in love with them.
A long and heavy silence filled the apartment. My toes were curled by the feeling that gripped my stomach when I heard the living room door opening.
"Is she sleeping?" Asked Theo as I heard him stepping into the room.
"No, you remember when she's sleeping, she makes these weird high-pitched noises." Responded Tyler. I could feel his smile as he sat on the couch opposite mine.
