Loving is such a weird human concept. You can either love someone or you can hate them.
There's no in-between except apathy and when you reach that level of indifference it means that you don't care.
I cared, I really cared about them. I cared about...
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𝐗 - Can't Stay Away For Long
When I entered the apartment, the first thing I heard was her voice. I took some time to recognize what she was signing.
It was one of our songs.
I remember that I wrote it exactly one year after she left. I was deleting some old pictures that I had on my computer and found many of her. The song popped in my head as if it was there the whole time waiting for me to just catch the idea and write the words.
She swayed her hips and walked around the counter with her eyes closed. Her voice sounded so fucking beautiful, and I couldn't hold a smile just at the sight of her.
Milo was laying on her blanket, her eyes not leaving her owner, but she didn't seem disturbed by the scene. The simple idea that I passed three years without her was still something hard to realize.
I missed seeing her in my kitchen in the morning, I missed her scent all over the house that drove me crazy. I missed all the habits that she has; playing with her rings when she's nervous, falling asleep everywhere, seeing her smile when she sees a kid, or even when she cries when she's too happy.
I hadn't forgotten a lot of things about her, though I can't quite remember her laugh.
For three years I told myself that I had to move on, so I tried to forget things that reminded me of her.
And the thing I lost is the memory of her sweet laugh.
I hadn't forgotten all these times she cried because her mom used her another time, or when her dad was going back on the battlefield. I hadn't forgotten the way the spark in her eyes vanished when her family was involved.
I leaned against the door frame, crossing my arms against my chest, still that stupid smile pinned on my lips.
When she opened her eyes, she jumped and put a hand on her chest. "Jesus, fuck, you scared me."
"Not quite sure that it's appropriate to put Jesus and the word fuck in the same sentence."
Her body relaxed as she took off her earphones and settled them on the kitchen table.
An awkward silence filled the room as we both searched for something to say. "I went to the grocery store." She said quietly. "I just thought it'll help all of you if I take care of that since you must be a little busy."
She slightly bit her honey-sweet lips as she tried to avoid my gaze, but in a heartbeat, she glanced at me and couldn't look away, so did I.
I hadn't realized that blue could be such a hot fire until I met those eyes. One glance at those blue eyes told of a lifetime of struggle that had never been put into words.
There was a time I was angry at the universe, to introduce us only for her to run far away, yet I have found my peace with it when I looked into her eyes.
