Alice's P.O.V.
For a brief second, my feelings felt perplexed. My body didn't know how to react towards his movements. My gaze was plastered onto his chest. I didn't dare to look up, for I expected only the worse to come.
Without a doubt I know my past self would have felt flustered and easily swept off her feet, unfortunately I've had a reality check. I believed that this wasn't the best for me. All of this wasn't healthy. Yet I stand here, hesitant.
Has my desire for Jake truly gone away-Or has it mourned for more? I decided to place all those desires and memories aside, hoping to move on, yet I question myself. Have I really moved on, or have I've been simply trying to forget?
Shifting my hands towards his chest and with almost no effort, attempt to push him away hoping he would leave me alone with my unbearable feelings.
"Just go away," I say with a displeased tone. His seductive ways no longer worked on me. His manipulative tricks no longer had effect. I glanced at my room and began to head towards that direction, "Please close the door when you leave," I state without turning towards him. I wouldn't have been surprised if he came towards my way to leech on to me the way he's done in the past. To have me in his tight embrace, either apologizing for the one-hundredth time, confessing his jealousy, stating his love for me. It was all just so predictable-I've finally grown tired of it. I glanced back to see if Jake had left, or if he was standing there in confusion at my command to leave.
He wasn't doing either of those things, instead he was following me. Which was different to the actions he's done in the past. Disappointment fled my eyes, knowing that he will cling onto to me for who knows how long. My feeling for him have finally reached to a jaded point. I looked up and stared into his lifeless eyes, almost as if he already knew the following words.
"Jake I no longer love you," I murmured.
He appeared to be in disbelief, yet I felt like he saw this coming. As if he knew this were to happen soon.
"Alice. Could you at least think this over? We can figure a way out." He said with a depressed tone. I felt like I just killed someone with words, without mercy. Yet, I didn't feel any pity for Jake. It didn't feel like a mistake, I didn't regret it. I turned back around and dragged my feet towards my room, wanting to dump myself on my bed, wanting to be wrapped around my silky, soft sheets and be carried off into a land of dreams and happiness.
"I sure fucked up this time," He said leaning against the wall. Without answering, I proceeded to head towards my room. Destined to fill my napping desires. What he said or did was irrelevant to me at this point. My head began to revolve around many things, anything but Jake. If he did ever cross my mind, it was as if a devil decided to stop by and lure me into it's wrong doings. Persuading me to this and that. Convincing me that this was right and this was wrong.
A genuine smile crawled it's way onto my face once I felt my skin touch the white, soft covers of my bed. I no longer cared what Jake did, he could set the house in flames and i'd find it hard to be bothered. I was unspeakably exhausted and sleep was my medicine. I think I might overdose tonight.
