~Alice's P.O.V.~
Did he just say what I think he said? I look at him in shock. I never really said that I loved anybody because I thought it was a really strong word. I was afraid to use that word because I was scared of being hurt, but that already happened. He held my hands up to his chest, expecting an answer from me.
"Jake I-", I trailed off. I wasn't 100 percent sure of my feelings for Jake. Yes I do like him, but love him?
"What?", he asked. I look down trying to avoid eye contact.
"Love....is a strong word", I say looking up to him, but he just locked his eyes on mine causing me to get nervous
"I know that's why I used it", he smiled
"I'm just scared of being..hurt", I say looking down once again. Avoiding his face.
"Alice, I will protect you from everything. I will do everything and anything for you", he said, but he clearly didn't get what I meant.
"Jake, I-'m scared of being hurt by..you", I say still avoiding eye contact.
He didn't answer immediately. I knew that what I said hurts him, but I needed him to know. I needed him to know that it hurts. So. Bad.
"I promise I won't hurt you Alice", he said lifting my chin up, then cupping my face
I wanted to believe that. I really did. My eyes began to tear up. Knowing that it wasn't true
I look down at my wrist, remembering that night. Remembering the dream. Remembering every single memory. I'm guessing this is the price for liking a bad boy. Getting hurt.
"Jake..I want to believe that", I say while fighting my tears. Being honest.
"Alice, give me-", I finished his sentence
"Another chance?", I say with anger.
"How many more chance Jake?", I asked. I was mad. I felt the tears run down my cheek. It hurts me to say that, because I knew that it hurts him. I gave him too many chances, but he keeps messing them up.
"I'm tired of you playing with my feeling Jake", I state, beginning to feel dizzy.
"Alice do you know how hard it has been for me?", he stated sounding angry as well. I back away from his embrace, and wipe away my tears.
"You keep pushing me away, and that fucking hurts like hell", he states angry at me.
"You know what hurts like hell? Watching the guy you have feelings for hurt you, bruising you, and while he is, he's enjoying it", I state with anger and sadness. Not stopping the tears. His facial expression then immediately changed. And he knew it was true.
"Alice", he says with guilt, but I cut him off
"I want to love you Jake, I really do, but you make it so hard. I'm not taking that risk", I say while crying, I began to feel dizzy once again. I try to fight it
"Alice I fucking promised", he states
"How many promises have you broken in the past Jake? Your bad for crying out loud", I say
"I'm trying to change", He says with anger
"Then prove it", I say while looking at him at they eyes
"Then let me", he replies almost immediately
I see what he's trying to do. I want to be with him, but he just hurts me so many times. Should I risk it again? I look up to meet his gaze. Examining to see if he's being honest. To see if he would actually try. To see if he would actually care for my feelings.
"Are you going to let me?", he then asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.
"I don't want to be hurt anymore Jake", I whispered, feeling the tears coming once more.
He walked close to me, and holds me tight. Close to him. Trying to comfort me. Trying to convince me. I didn't push him away this time. I was tired, and mad. And simply didn't have the energy too.
"I promise I won't hurt you Alice", he said once again. It was if, the more he said, the more I believed it.
"And that's a promise I will keep", he finished
I hesitated on my decision.
"O-okay", I agree. He lifted my chin up to make me focus on him. I know I've said many times before. Hoping that later on that I wouldn't regret my decision. I know deep down this whole process is going to happen again. I get hurt, he feels guilty, he apologizes, and I give him another chance. He begins to notice my facial expression, and I know i'm as clear as a book.
"Alice, don't worry, just trust me", he said, trying to comfort me
"This is your last chance Jake", I say looking up to meet his gaze
"I know princess", he smiled. He wrapped his arms around my hips like he always does. Trying to cheer me up.
"And that's all i'm going to need", he finished with a grin.
"I..I hope so", I trailed off.
He held both of my hands together and kissed them softly.
"I love you Alice", he softly said.
I didn't want to use that word. So I simply gave him a soft smile. I knew deep down, he was a little disappointed that I didn't say it back to him.
I wasn't ready...
~1 week later~
It was a Saturday night, and I was extremely excited to sleep in. Like always. Jake keeps suggesting to sleep with me, but I kept telling him that I wasn't really ready for that yet. He respected my decision, which I was surprised at first usually he wouldn't care, and state that he makes the decisions. I smile at the thought that he really is changing. Changing for the better.
_
I open my eyes, and glare at the clock. 8:00 am. Why is it so early? I couldn't go back to sleep, so I grabbed the phone from my nightstand, and check instagram, twitter etc.
I then see plenty of post of Halloween. I really didn't want to go to a party, but at the same time I really did. Remembering the last time I did go to a party. But then again, that was the night when I finally stopped fighting my feelings. Might as well just look at it like that.
I put my phone back on my nightstand, and let out a yawn. I sat up, and dragged myself out of bed. Know that I started thinking about Halloween. I kind of wanted to go to a party now. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to go. I knew Halloween was tomorrow night, I made up my mind, and decided to go to a party that night. I broke out of my thoughts once I heard my phone buzz. I pick my phone up, and saw that it was a text message from Jake, and just smiled at it.he
Can I come over?
I put my phone down, and head out of my room. I scanned the living room to see if my mom was here. I looked around, but didn't find a trace of her. I ran back to my room, and immediately answered him back. Approving his message. After a couple of seconds he replied.
Kay see ya in a bit ;)
