It is what it is

11.

Grief is such a weird thing. There's nothing that could come close to the feeling of grief. It's intense. Probably the most intense. No. Happiness is the most intense feeling ever. Grief comes close though. It rocks your world. It shakes all your feelings of love, hate, everything. People don't realise how much it hurts.

Stefania was going through this feeling for the past three days. She had said an emotional goodbye to Danielle before she boarded her flight three days ago. Landing in Italy, the first thing she had heard was that her father was gone. He left the world while Stefania was on the plane, trying her best to get to him.

She didn't know what to feel, they weren't close. But it was her father, the father she didn't speak to in the last six years. The father who loved her as a kid, but simultaneously made her life hell. The father who was never there at any of her competitions, any of her school meets. The father who had his weak moments, where he'd tell her he loved her, very rarely. The father who hit her for being herself. The father who dragged her out of the house for not supporting her career and her sexuality. Then again, the father who gave her mothers flower when she was born, the father who secretly distributed chocolates to everyone when she won a competition in elementary school. These were all the same person. Her father. Who was dead.

After arriving at her chilhood home, she was met with her family who were in a worse state, they appreciated her being there. Everyone was numb, busy with the services. People were flooded in the house to pay their respects.

Three days ago

"Baby, are you okay?" Danielle asked over the phone.

"He's gone." Stefania whispered.

Danielle knew in that moment that she should've been there with her. Stefania needed her.

Present day

It had been a long day. Stefania was so tired after greeting all the people who came for the funeral. They also hosted a dinner after the service in memory of Mr. Spampinato.

She knew it was now morning back in the States, so she could call Danielle. They hadn't had the chance to properly communicate in the last three days. However, Stefania was afraid. Danielle had known everything about the equation with her father. From before they even started dating. For the past 4 years, Danielle was the person Stefania trusted the most. But it was intimidating now. She couldn't explain why she was feeling this way, and opening up to Danielle was intimidating. So she decided on not calling her just yet.

She was about to fall asleep when she heard a knock on her door.

"Come in." She said while sitting up

"Sorry, were you sleeping? possiamo parlare?" Her brother said.

"Si si, dimmi."

He walked in and sat in front of Stefania. He had tears in his eyes. His face was swollen, he looked like he hadn't slept in days, which made sense, he too, had lost his father. They were quite close as well.

"Look. So che sei arrabbiato con noi (i know you are angry with us.) you have every right to be, Stef. And I know this means nothing to you but mi dispiace (but I'm sorry). During his final days, he asked of you everyday. He missed you. He felt guilty. He wanted to say sorry to you. So I'm saying it, on his behalf, on my behalf, on mama's behalf." He blurted out.

"Thank you." Stefania managed to say. 

"We need you here, Stefania. We need for you to stay with us for a while. ho bisogno che la mia famiglia torni (I need my family back). With papa gone, we need each other more than ever. Stay with us. For a few months. Help us out here, and when we all feel a little stronger, you go back." He pleaded with tears in his eyes.

Stefania didn't want to do anything for the man who stood by his father, who never had her back. But seeing him plead, losing their father, it was all too much for her. She thought of Danielle. The only person she could think of was Danielle. What would happen to them. She felt like a mess. She loved Danielle with every inch of her body and soul, but she knew Danielle deserved better than to deal with her drama. She wasn't okay with the idea of rekindling the equation with her family, but she also didn't oppose it. Her heart sank, Danielle still being the number one thought in her head. Agreeing to her brother would somewhere mean ending things with Danielle. Then again, Danielle deserved better, that's what she thought over and over.

"I'll stay. We need each other." She said as she gave a weak smile.

A/N

Hey. Shorter chapter in order to prepare for a rather dramatic storyline.

I'm sorry for this though :•)