our delicate string | 최범규

23: the waves.

[ 🌫️ ]

day-too-long without you.

THE CHESTNUT HAIRED boy walked across the same beach that him and his forgotten lover had once strolled through together. somehow, he was brought back here. he didn't know why or who he was looking for, but he kept coming back to this place, in hopes that somebody or something would come and greet him with his answer.

he held the diary firm in his hands. he knows why they disappeared, but it was as if their name was completely wiped out from history. there were entries of their dates and moments that he had no recollection of. so he wrote his own entry,

i don't know why i keep coming back to this place. my feet take me here each time and they allow me to stroll freely. but why do i feel like i should be looking for something?

i have this empty feeling in my chest, as though i was lost before i found this thing. this enigma that lead my map. this bud that helped me bloom. my moon, as it takes the crash of all the comets in the sky to save the Earth. its as though i'm looking for my moon without knowing. but what was it? who was it?

i haven't been able to sleep peacefully for so long. i don't know what i'm looking for anymore but i won't stop. i'll travel to the ends of the Earth for you. i don't know who or what you are but i know i loved you. i feel like I'm always searching for someone, or something.

i've come to the conclusion that it had to have been somebody i once loved. if i loved them, i should've remembered them. i fight myself about this everyday—how could i have forgotten you? the sensation that i've lost something lingers for a long time after i've woken up.

did you leave me? did you go after somebody better? a different, more beautiful fool? or did the Earth take you away from me? too early that I can't remember the moment in time you left me. we must have been inseparable because there's not a moment i don't stop thinking about you. i'm right here where you left me. so why don't you come back?

i don't know your name. i don't know what you look like. heck, i don't even know who you are. but in my heart, i know it's telling me the truth that i loved you. at some point in time, i must have loved you. you must have owned my entire heart just like you own every part of me now as i continue to search for you.

our destinies are written for us. please, in my destiny, let me see her again. our timelines weren't in step. give me one last chance.

i would risk anything to find you once more. you must have been my world of escape and fantasy. you make me never want to go back to reality. you inspire me to believe in my written destiny and find you. i don't care how long it takes, i need to see you again once more.

he screamed in the empty sky with nobody listening to him. he fell to his knees in despair. "please, let me see her again!" he cried, his tears falling down endlessly. "i-i don't care if our destinies don't align!" he threw his hands in the air as he felt rain droplets fall and dampen his hair. as if the universe were crying with him. "i want her more than anything! i've chased the ends of the Earth for her for so long now. please! please, i'm begging you to let me see her again!"

"if we see each other, we'll know. that she was the one who owned my heart and that i was the one who owned hers." he nodded. "i'm sure of it."

he fell in despair, his body taking up all of his emotion. he didn't know what to feel, how to feel, how to escape. he wanted to find what he had looked for in his heart, in his mind, in his soul.

he needed to see this person who made him feel like he was on cloud nine. who made him feel perfect and beautiful. the one who gave him happiness, love, comfort. his wet hair from the rain tossed everywhere though nothing about him would change its position. he let it stay there, hugging himself with the warmth that his moon could've given him. he let himself cry till tears dampened the sand he sat on more than the rainy sky itself.

he didn't care about the rain, he wanted her more than any clear sky.

no, he doesn't know her name. he doesn't know her voice, her figure. yet, somehow, something about her echoes a tune familiar in his ears.

and somehow, on this lonely dampened seaside, he heard that voice again that caused him to stand up from his void.

he heard a girl's voice from behind him, yet he was afraid to look past the ocean. past the waters and all that he's ever known.

he feigned his strength and looked behind him to see her. somehow, something inside of him remembered her. though his eyes may betray him, his mind may become traitorous in ways, his heart knew that this was the girl he had looked for all this time.

"Kang Aera." he looked up. "Kang Aera." his memories came back in a flash the moment he saw her.

the girl he had run marathons to see. the girl he had done everything and anything for was standing inches away from him.

she wasn't transparent this time. she was true. she was her full figure, the figure with a beating heart, a beautiful mind, a lovely soul.

and there she was, singing the song the boy had once taught her with her gentle voice.

his tears fall down his face uncontrollably as he wrapped his arms around the girl, letting his tears fall to her shoulders.

"y-you're real." he held her in his arms tightly, never wanting to let her go. "oh my God, you're real." he cried, sobbing on her shoulder endlessly grateful she had still been here all this time.

"Beomgyu." she held him, laying her head in the crook of his neck and holding him ever-so-tightly as if she were afraid one of them would disappear again. 

"h-how are you here? i-i thought you disappeared forever." he held her small face and looked into those same gentle eyes he fell in love with time and time ago. yet he will still love her, over and over again.

"i disappeared some place far from you, a place that i've never even seen before. i've been looking for you for so long, so i came back to the one place i knew i would find you." she cried tears of genuine happiness as Beomgyu wrapped his arms again around her and laid his head on the top of hers. "my feet led me to you again."

"i didn't stop searching for you. i needed to find you, even though i forgot about you, my heart never seemed to allow it." he placed his lips on the top of her head and removed them. "i never left you." he cried, holding her face the way he had longed to for so long. the feeling of warmth she gave him, the way he felt his heart flutter when they saw each other. though, he didn't feel that anymore. he felt comforted, as though it was meant to be written they would stay together. he would wipe her tears and she would wipe his. and maybe that's how their love was described.

she looked up at him and down at his empty hands, allowing her hands to lay in his, without falling through. she watched as a glowing, red thread came through the air and passed onto them, surrounding their entire figure and landing upon their fingers, just like it had always been.

they smiled at each other, more than thrilled to be back in the arms of the one person they longed for.

"y-you kept your promise." she smiled at the boy who wiped her stray tear and wrapped her arms around him once more before watching the orange-pinkish sunset with each other.

she laid her head atop his shoulder, him returning the action atop her head. "i love you. and i'm sorry i was late to tell you how i felt."

"no more apologies." he cupped her face and held her hand. "i'll never let you go. c'mon, let's go home."

         THE END.